Page 110 of Someone to Hold
“Time that you stand on your own two feet. I wondered if you were ever going to manage it.”
Maybe I should be offended, but I’m not. “That makes two of us. To be honest, I didn’t think you were interested in me standing on my own two feet because of what it would mean for you.”
“I wanted you to move with me to keep my grandkids close,but I also understand why you want to stay. I’m ready for a change, but Skylark will always have a place in my heart.”
“I need to do what’s best for the kids.” It’s still easier to be strong for them than for myself.
Linda bites down on her lower lip then whispers, “My son was a good man.”
I’m not sure where that comment came from, but it’s clear she needed to say it. “He was. I loved Teddy.”
“He was my whole world.” She exhales what appears to be a painful breath. “He was also reckless and selfish. I blame myself. I know what it’s like to be a single mom. The stigma and pressure and loneliness. I thought if I indulged every wish and whim Teddy had as a boy, it would make up for him not having a father. But I couldn’t fill that gaping hole. Instead…” She clasps her hands tightly together. “Teddy never knew his father, but he turned out a lot like him, which is not a compliment.”
It’s my turn to reach across the table and squeeze her hands. “I know how much you loved him.”
“And I see how much you love your kids. Being happy is the best thing you can do for them. I didn’t support this flower farming business at the start, but I’ve seen the changes in you. They’re important.”
Emotion clogs my throat, and I have to look away for a moment. I didn’t expect any sort of validation from my typically fault-finding mother-in-law, but her words resonate deep in my soul. “They feel important.”
“Do you want me to back out of the contract with Chase?”
I pull my hand back, closing my fingers into a fist. “And sell to the developer?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want somebody to bulldoze this house and subdivide the land into postage-stamp-sized properties. I would have waited for the right buyer, and I’m confident in Chase’s commitment to stewarding our family’s legacy.”
I open my mouth to agree, but she holds up a fingerto silence me. “I’m also confident in your commitment to building a life in this town for you and the twins. If you want me to break the contract, I will. We’ll come up with terms that work for you to buy the farm. Even if it takes a couple of years or you do a lease-to-own or…” She waves a hand like the details aren’t important right now. “We’ll figure out something.”
“Why would you do that now? To be honest, Linda, I didn’t think you liked me, let alone believed in me.”
“You were an easy scapegoat for my frustration over Teddy’s unwillingness to—let’s call it what it is—grow up, and then for my grief. My son knew better than to take a raft out on the river when it was running so high and fast. He should have been wearing a helmet and a life vest. He was always impulsive, and he and Chase got into plenty of trouble together. But Chase also tempered him. Just like you did. And Idomean that in a good way.”
I think about what I want for the future, my feelings for Chase that have been a big part of me changing, and my friends’ advice about letting someone love and take care of me.
“I’m in love with Chase,” I say quietly, done hiding or feeling guilty for my feelings. I want to show up for him the way he’s been showing up for me.
She laughs softly. “I should have thought about that as a possibility when I wrangled him into helping.”
I guess there are worse ways she could have reacted. “I don’t know if he feels the same, but?—”
“What does your gut tell you?”
I can’t help my smile. “That we have a chance at something really special. I don’t want to own this landinsteadof Chase. I want it to be part of our future.” I make a face. “Although I’m still not sure how I feel about Luke’s goal of becoming a cowboy.”
“One way or another, adventure is in his blood.”
“Maybe the greatest adventure is being brave enough to live a full life,” I say, more to myself than her.
“I wish Teddy could see you now.”
Linda’s words hit me right in the chest, but in the best possible way.
“He’d probably tell me to stop overthinking and go do something,” I say with a watery laugh.
“Sounds like Teddy.”
“I need to talk to Chase.” The certainty I feel finally knowing what I want almost catches me off guard, but I’m not backing down now. “He’s staying at Ray’s. Would you mind if I went over there? I don’t want to wait another minute.”
Linda’s expression shifts, a shadow dimming the light in her brown eyes. “Chase is at the rodeo exhibition.”
