Page 12 of Someone to Hold
He nods, and the smile I give him is as brittle as old newspaper. “Of course she did. It’s a job.Myjob.” I bite my lower lip, and he winces slightly, like the movement causes him pain.
I don’t owe him an explanation, but can’t stop myself from continuing, “Planting and harvesting are a calling for me. My grandparents were farmers and their parents before them. I think growing things is in my blood.” I straighten my shoulders. “But flower farming is also a business. Thanks to my success last summer, I retired from cleaning office buildings every night after I put the kids to bed.”
His brows draw together. “After?”
“Normally I’d start around nine or so and finisharound midnight.” At his shocked expression, I roll my eyes. “Did you think Linda was bankrolling our lives? Not that I’d expect or even want her to. I know what you think of me, Chase, but?—”
He holds up a hand, regret darkening his eyes. “I need you to understand how things were before your wedding.” He looks down at the dirt floor like he can’t quite bring himself to meet my gaze. “My childhood best friend, who claimed he’d never settle down called and told me to get my ass to Colorado. For his wedding to a vacation fling who got herself pregnant. So, yeah, I was skeptical at best.”
“I didn’tget myselfanything, Chase.” I breathe out a sharp laugh. “Trust me, Teddy was actively involved in the process.”
Chase closes his eyes for a few seconds. “That isn’t how he talked about it, and when I met you…”
I feel my eyes narrow. “What happened when you met me?”
“You seemed delicate…fragile. Teddy was always a sucker for wounded birds.”
Anger rises inside me, but it’s as much directed at myself as Chase. I’m very familiar with the version of me that first caught Teddy’s eye.
I came with friends to Colorado only weeks after my grandparents died. Iwasa wounded bird at that point. And Teddy liked it. He enjoyed drawing the smile out of me and playing white knight for the young woman who cried herself to sleep in her tent every night. For better or worse, we both lost interest in me playing that role very quickly.
“Shell shocked,” I clarify. “I was overwhelmed and shell-shocked at how my life was changing.”
He’s silent for a moment before nodding. “You got over it. Linda told me you’re a good mom.” Is this his way of convincing me he no longer thinks I trapped his friend into marriage? I remind myself that I don’t care what Chase Calhoun thinks of me.
“I’ve gotten over a lot of things,” I tell him with a shrug. “Can we be done skipping down memory lane? Like I said in my text, I’dlike to take you up on your offer of help, or Linda’s offer for you to help me. However you want to phrase it.”
“I’m glad you changed your mind.” His voice is neutral as he stands there with one hand hooked in his belt loop, the other holding his hat. And looking every inch the rugged bull rider who could probably fix anything that needs fixing and handle whatever problem comes his way.
“I know she talked to you about taking care of the twins, but that will primarily involve driving them when they need to get to town for activities. Otherwise, the three of us can manage around here even with my ankle. I know how to manage.”
He’s watching me intently, and if he knew Teddy as well as I think he did, he understands what I mean. I was married for four years before my husband’s accident, and Teddy loved his kids. But while he could light up a room like nobody’s business, I don’t think he ever changed a diaper or cleaned up puke when they got sick. And believe me, if one got sick, the other did as well. Teddy wasn’t into domesticity.
He liked to float in with his bag of tricks, party magician style. But once he grew tired of being the fun parent or something better caught his attention, my late husband was gone again. Teddy brought home the sugar, but I was the keeper of the recipe box of our lives.
Chase clears his throat, and I realize I’ve let my thoughts wander to memories better left in the past.
“I’ll need your help keeping the flower farm going.” It’s my turn to study him. “Did Linda happen to mention my business?”
“She did not,” he answers before his gaze flicks around the greenhouse’s interior once more.
“Right.” Because, according to my mother-in-law, flower farming is a hobby. Maybe it started that way, but it’s so much more now. It’s also how I’m going to make my dream of staying in Skylark come true.
“The work is year-round, but things start to pick up thismonth.” I move forward on the scooter. “Currently, I use about three acres for the flowers. The bulbs will be coming up soon in the nearest field. I could use another set of hands harvesting and then planting new crops. And someone to drive me into town for deliveries and help with my booth at local markets.”
Listing everything out loud makes my chest tighten painfully. There’s so much to do. So many moving pieces have to work together if I’m going to make enough money to buy this place. The weight of it presses down on me like a boulder, and I have to force myself to take a steady breath.
“I’ll do whatever you need.” It’s similar to what he told me earlier, and the statement makes goosebumps erupt along my arms. It feels as if he’s promising something more than his arrangement with my mother-in-law. Like he’s doing this for me. Because of me.
It’s probably just my overly-sentimental heart. I tend to latch onto whatever crumbs of kindness people scatter in my direction.
“If you tell me what Linda is paying you, I can try to add?—”
“It’s worked out, Molly.” He shakes his head. “You don’t owe me anything. My debt to the McAllisters has been hanging over my head for nearly a decade. I’m grateful for a chance to pay it off.”
“The work is physical,” I tell him as if that’s not obvious. What I really want to do is ask exactly why he owes Teddy and my mother-in-law. But that’s not my business. This man is not my friend or my ally. Although he might not be the enemy I thought he was, I need to remember I’m also not the wounded bird he believed me to be. I can take care of myself.
I press my lips together and swallow. “If you have any limitations from your accident, we can?—”
