Page 84 of Someone to Hold
“He can build another house,” Laurel offers. “And keep Fancy and Gumdrop in our barn.”
My heart trips over itself at their hopeful faces. They don’t know about the financial tightrope we’re walking--that if I can’t scrape together enough money to buy this place outright, Chase might end up purchasing it from their nana instead. The irony isn’t lost on me. The man my children are already counting on as a permanent fixture could end up owning the ground beneath our feet.
I can’t bring myself to crush their dreams with those harsh realities, especially when part of me shares their longing for him to stay. Taylor’s words about curved paths echo in my mind, but right now I can’t see around the bend to imagine how any of this works out.
“Let’s just focus on tonight,” I say finally, hitting the button to turn on the sound again. “One step at a time.”
26
CHASE
I’m standing nextto Laura Lovejoy, who I’ve known since I was in diapers and who runs the catering company providing food for the reception, when I see Molly and her kids walk out of the house.
I’ve been to a few weddings over the years, all of them happier in tone than Molly and Teddy’s, and one thing I never understood is why the groom typically looks shell-shocked when his bride appears at the end of the aisle.
Let’s get real. Maybe he’s in a tux for the first time in his life and she’s wearing a white dress and a veil, but they aren’t complete strangers. We’re not talking about one of those married-at-first-sight reality shows. So why do the guys get so choked up?
I figured it must be a combination of fear and adrenaline. I’ve experienced enough of both of those when climbing onto the backs of bulls, but I usually had more of an inclination to shit my pants than cry.
But as Molly and her kids approach us, I’m blinking like a sandstorm blew up in my face. She’s breathtaking in a long dress in a shade of soft sage that makes her eyes pop. Her creamy skin appears almost translucent, and her hair falls around hershoulders in soft waves. I swear it looks like she stepped out of an enchanted fairy tale forest, and I’m completely under her spell.
The kids are adorable. Luke’s typically tousled hair is combed to one side and Laurel is wearing a yellow sundress with her long hair neatly braided. The whole picture is what I imagine a happy family looks like in my mind. In my heart, if I’m being honest. And I want to be part of it.
“Close your mouth, Chase,” Laura tells me with a laugh. “Either you’re trying to catch flies or you’ve got it bad for Molly McAllister.”
“I’m helping her until her ankle heals,” I answer, my voice hoarse. “There’s nothing between us.” Not because I don’t want it to be. I’m just not sure I believe I deserve it yet.
I suck in a breath when that realization lands with the force of a swift kick to the family jewels. Then Molly offers me one of her sweet smiles, and my heart scrambles for purchase.
“You keep telling yourself that.” Laura laughs again and walks forward to greet them.
I’m still wearing my work clothes, so I wave at the trio then head to the Airstream to grab a change of clothes before going to the house to shower. I’m not going to be interacting much with guests, but the way Molly looks tonight makes me want to wear some version of my Sunday best. Maybe I need to remind both of us that I’m more than a dusty, washed-up cowboy.
The upstairs bathroom still smells like her shampoo, and I imagine fanning her glossy hair out across the pillowcase in the morning.
I haven’t spent the night in her bed since the confrontation with my father. She’s visited the RV several evenings this week after putting the kids to bed, but doesn’t stay long. I figure beggars can’t be choosers, and I’ll take whatever she’s willing to give me—of both her time and her body.
As I come downstairs again, I can’t help but wonder whatwould happen if we weren’t competing for this property, but working together on it?
I don’t have any real passion for becoming a cattle rancher. It’s just something I know I can do with the land that came from my mom combined with the McAllister property. But maybe I could do something more. Maybe I could be a part of Molly’s dream. A real part of her life.
As I look around the main floor of this house I spent so much time in as a kid, I realize it feels more like home to me now than any place ever has. Not because of my agreement with Linda or the thought of owning it, but because being with Molly and her kids makes me feel like I belong. Like I’ve found my place in this world when I didn’t even realize belonging was important to me.
I comb a hand through my hair, which is mostly dry now. It feels a little weird not to have my hat on, but today I’m not Chase Calhoun, soon-to-be-retired bull rider. I’m just a man who’s helping the woman he cares about to make her dream a reality.
The guests are beginning to arrive, and Molly and Laura appear deep in conversation in front of the greenhouse. The twins are nowhere to be seen, but doesn’t take me long to find them in the barn.
“You guys clean up pretty well,” I say.
“I hate wearing dresses,” Laurel tells me with an eye roll that would make a surly teen proud. “Mommy said I have to tonight.”
“I’m not big on formal clothes either,” I admit. “But we’re here to do whatever your mom needs.”
The girl sighs. “She had us put tissues on all the benches out back. She said people cry at weddings.” Laurel pulls on the end of her braid. “People should be happy at a wedding. Seems like a dumb time to cry.”
“People cry for lots of reasons,” I tell the girl. “Sometimes the emotions just get too big, and you have to let them out, both good and bad.”
Luke tugs at the collar of his button-up shirt like it’s suddenly too tight. I know the feeling.
