Page 35 of Two for Holding
“Stairs fuck with the knee,” he muttered.“Damn open-plan houses.There’s no guest bedroom down here or anything.”
“Christ, Phil.”
“Yeah.”
Tom sat next to him.He ran his thumb across the weave of his track pants, slowly back and forth.“Is it bad?”
“It’s not good.”
“ACL?”
“Yeah.Apparently, everyone is still undecided about whether I need surgery or not.”
Tom tried and failed to hide a wince.Surgery meant more time away for rehab, but either way, Phil was probably out for the whole season.
“This is a contract year for me,” Phil said.
Tom had known that, of course, but he’d been trying very hard not to think about it.
“You don’t think they’ll re-sign you?”
Phil snorted.“Come on.We both know I’m past my prime.”
“You’re thirty-four.”
“Which is three to five years from death, in hockey terms.”
Tom had a mixed relationship with being honest about his feelings, but it had gone all right the last few days.He took a breath and gave it a shot.“I don’t want you to leave.”
Phil rested a hand on his shoulder.“I don’t want to leave either.I’m…thinking about other options.”
“Like what?”
Phil glared at him.
“No.”Tom shook his head emphatically.“Retirement is not an option.No way.”
“It might be my only option.”Phil stretched out his bad leg and winced.“I want to keep playing hockey, but I also want to have two functional legs when I’m done.”
“You will.”
“Tom.I want kids someday.I want to take them to the park and push them on the swings, not be so broken I have to pay someone else to do it.”
It sounded like a nice future.It also sounded lightyears away from sleeping on the couch because the stairs were too tricky.
Tom rubbed a hand over his face.“Where’s Camille anyway?”
“Monaco.”
“What?”
Phil laughed ruefully.“We got divorced.Six months ago.”
Tom rifled through his brain for the right thing to say and came up empty.Instead, he blurted, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You’re my best friend, Tom.But we never talk about anything but hockey.Didn’t know how to go there.”
Right.The consequences of Tom’s actions.Funny how those kept getting in the way of things.He’d done his level best to keep anything personal hermetically sealed off from his hockey life in case anyone found out about him.Found out he was gay.He ought to at least be able to think it, even if he’d only said it once.But him not getting personal with his friends meant they treated him the same.“I’m sorry.”
