Page 71 of Two for Holding
“Yeah?”Jax sounded encouraging, eager even.
Tom closed his eyes.“I want you to fuck me,” he said into the darkness, directed at no one.“I want you inside me.”
Jax kissed his cheeks again, first one, then the other, and then his lips, soft and slow and comforting in a way Tom never knew kissing could be.“Thank you.”
Leading Tom by the hand, Jax brought him to the bedroom.“Have you ever, uh…had something inside you?”
Tom nodded.“I have, um…a toy.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.”Jax closed his eyes briefly as if overwhelmed by the thought.“Okay, so…do you want to shower first?”
“Yeah.”
“Alone?”
“Uh, yeah.”The process of getting ready for this wasn’t really something Tom wanted Jax to witness.He was running low on dignity anyway.
He escaped to the bathroom and turned the shower to hot.Ordinarily, he kept his showers lukewarm and brief because the trainers had mentioned the benefits for his circulation and because California’s water supply problems kept him up at night.The massive shower stall, with the rainforest fixture and adjustable side nozzles, had been an indulgence when he bought the place.
Preparing for anal sex though?Turned out having a fancy shower paid off.Tom leaned against one of the marble walls, aiming the nozzle at his ass while spreading his cheeks—a very strange feeling.While he’d experimented by himself previously, this part kept him from doing it more often.
He stayed in the shower a while past what he deemed necessary; he just…needed a minute.
Jax lay on the bed waiting for him, naked except for black Armani boxer briefs—Jax loved an expensive brand—and scrolling on his phone.When Tom entered, Jax looked up and smiled, his hair falling over his eyes, one of the particularly blond strands right over his eyebrows.He was so handsome.
“How’re you feeling?”
“Not very sexy,” Tom admitted.
“Still wanna?”
Tom nodded.
“Okay, I can fix the feeling sexy thing, then.”He beckoned Tom over, then pulled away the towel wrapped around his waist.Tom made to throw it toward the laundry bin, but Jax stopped him and kicked it to the end of the bed.“We might want that in a bit.”
Then, he pulled Tom on top of him, and they didn’t talk for a while.
Kissing Jax had become familiar by now.Tom wondered if anyone else used his technique of gripping his partner’s face so firmly but tenderly, directing them.Was it only Jax who used his whole body, his hands and arms and legs, to hold someone in place on top of him?If Tom had any future partners, would they make him feel this held and protected even when he was on top?
The slide of their bare skin against each other was still new for Tom.He liked the way the hair on their legs rasped together and the swell of Jax’s pecs, firm yet comfortable.He liked the heat of it, the warmth, some animal instinct in him for pack and comfort he’d been denying his entire adult life.
“You feel so good,” he told Jax, rubbing up against him with his whole body.
“Thanks.”Jax grinned.“I work out, you know.”
It startled a laugh out of Tom, and the movement shook them apart until they lay intertwined on their sides, so close Tom could almost believe he’d never be alone again.
“Feeling better?”Jax asked, low and intimate.
“Yeah.”Tom nosed in closer to the long, tempting curve of Jax’s neck.“I got…lost in my head, I guess.”
“’S’ okay.Sex can be weird sometimes.Sorry if I ruined the mood before.”
“No, I’m glad you asked.”It was, Tom found to his own surprise, the truth.He hadn’t expected it to be, too caught up in the embarrassment of voicing his desires, but he felt better for having been able to tell Jax what he wanted.He’d made a choice rather than letting fate run its course.
“Good.In that case, I’m gonna do my best to make it worth your while.”
“Huh?”
