Page 98 of Two for Holding
Tom could wait three and a half hours to touch Jax again.He’d been waiting his whole life.
“We’ll be there,” Tom said.
Breezy’s face split into a wide smile.“Cool!Wanna share a ride?”
When Tom pictured the most romantic night of his life in idle fantasies over the years, sitting in the back of the Uber with Breezy strapped in the middle, his long legs pushing Tom up against the door, never made the cut.But every time Tom looked over at Jax and found him already looking back, steady, wanting,caring, he was glad of the buffer.He wouldn’t have been able to keep his hands to himself.
Tom seemed to have gained an extra sense, a constant awareness of where Jax was in relation to him: Sitting next to him at the team’s table in the bayside gastropub Breezy had booked, their legs brushing up against each other under the table.Ordering drinks, leaning up against the bar, the top two buttons of Jax’s shirt undone.Talking to Luca, his elbows on the table and head bent to hear him over the din, the material of his shirt stretched across his shoulders and biceps.
Before, Tom would have spent the entire evening worrying someone would catch the way he was attuned to every little thing Jax did.Now, he reveled in it.
“How’s the sweater working out for you?”Hayes asked from the other end of the table, eyeing Tom’s outfit of choice.He hadn’t been able to resist pulling the cream sweater on over his dress shirt.Not ideal for the heat of the crowded bar, but every time he touched the soft fabric, it sent a tingle all down his spine.
“Good.It’s good.”He couldn’t have hidden the smile if he’d tried.
Hayes whistled, long and low.“Wow.You must be really into her, huh?”
Tom was physically incapable of not stealing another glance at Jax.He’d pushed his shirtsleeves up to his elbows, and the corded strength of his forearms made Tom’s mouth water.“Yeah,” he said.“I am.”
Hayes clapped him on the shoulder.“Good to know you’re human after all.”
Tom thought of Phil, who had known him for fifteen years and never once suspected.Hockey players really struggled with subtext.He thought about all the years he’d spent worried, lonely, and tired, trying his best and getting nothing in return.He’d wasted so much time hating himself.
But that was a sad thought, and tonight wasn’t for sad thoughts.Tonight was for catching Jax’s eye and sharing a secret smile.Tonight was for indulging in a decent beer, a sweet, chocolatey stout, because he’d gotten a hat trick, and he deserved it.Tonight was for letting his fingertips ghost across the fabric of his new sweater and thinking about what else he deserved for his hat trick.
His mom texted at eleven thirty, the telltale buzz of her after-game message in the pocket of his suit pants a giveaway.The feeling alone made his heart sink in his chest.
Mom:Good job sweetie!We’re so proud of you!
Tom swallowed heavily.“No, you’re not,” he said and put the phone away, text unanswered.
Around one, when the Swedes had split off already and Dmitriyev had gotten a cab home after what appeared to be a half bottle of clear liquor, Mooney and Howie started making noise about heading over to some club they liked.
“There are four floors!”Howie said excitedly.“And a different DJ on each floor.Who’s in?”
“Sure,” Breezy said.“Let me text Brittany to see if she’s up for it.”
Behind his back, Luca and Mooney exchanged a deeply long-suffering glance.
“I’m in,” Vanderbilt announced.“Cheryl’s in bed already anyway.”
Cheryl was nine months pregnant and due pretty much any day, last Tom had heard, but he didn’t say anything.
Hayes yawned widely.“Nah,” he said.“I’m too old for that shit.”
“Same,” Tom said with some measure of relief.
Jax heaved a sigh and got to his feet.“Come on then, old man.Let’s find a ride home.”
“Aww, Jax,” Mooney pouted.“Come on, bro.You gotta start enjoying what the city has to offer.”
Jax winked, deliberately sleazy.“Who says I’m not?Never saidIwas going home.I’m just not going clubbing with you losers.”
His words were both absolute truth and also deeply misleading.Whole new vistas opened up for Tom as to what they could get away with on the tacit understanding it wouldn’t be terrible if someone noticed.Sure, the respect Hayes and Vanderbilt granted them now would vanish, but at this point, Tom could safely say it wasn’t mutual.
They left the bar together and took a car down to Palo Alto.They sat in the darkness of the back seat, and if the driver saw they were holding hands, he said nothing.It still made Tom’s heart race, but for entirely different reasons than it might have before.
Finally, finally, they reached Tom’s apartment building, then the elevator, and finally the door.
