Page 49 of The Hitchhiker in Panama
I nodded. “Well, I’m sorry to be saying goodbye so soon. I guess that’s part of the cruising life, right? Moving on to the next place.”
Jonas studied my face. “Do you like my brother enough to stay?”
“Yes, of course I do! He’s fun and a good person and I like the way he treats me.”
“But you will not stay?”
My brain tripped for a moment. “Wait, ‘stay’ as in, sail across the Pacific with you?”
“Ja.”
“Honestly, I didn’t think that was possible.”
Jonas didn’t look up from his work. “Why not? I told you to stay as long as you wanted to.”
I rolled my eyes. “There’s a difference between staying a few days here in Panama and committing to a month out at sea together. Plus, like, yes, I appreciate the offer, but I don’t know how Eivind feels about that.”
A skeptical eyebrow popped up. “Really?”
I blushed again.
“You should ask him.”
We continued our work in silence while I thought about the possibility of sailing across the ocean. After having met so many people, boat owners like Peter and Edith or hitchhikers like Elayna and Marcella, I realized this was a golden opportunity. If I wanted to experience something that would be life-changing and so different from the life I would go home to in Australia, this was that opportunity. Shouldn’t I take it?
And yet it terrified me. All of my detailed plans would be tossed overboard. Yes, I enjoyed every moment with Eivind: he was bright, funny, and so kind that he made my heart ache. But I’d never lived with a guy, never crossed so many boundaries that we would encounter while out at sea.
And yet, if I could make it across the Pacific Ocean and still feel so strongly about him, wouldn’t this be something worth keeping?
Jonas and I kept working and talked about other things. I was delighted when he let me put the winch back together, following the exploded view in the manual.
When the winch was reassembled and working properly, I packed my things up from the bunk cabin and moved them into Eivind’s room. I tucked them into a corner, trying to take up as little space as I could.
Marcella and Elayna returned first, and I helped them unload the provisions into the galley and put things away as best I could. When we were done, I retreated to the room to read until Eivind got back.
Raised voices carried through the door, and I opened it to see what was going on. Marcella was in the galley, mixing some dough for biscuits, and shot me a look. The argument came from the aft cabin—Jonas’s room. It sounded a little one-sided: Elayna’s voice was emotional and desperate, while Jonas’s was calm but insistent.
I ducked back into the room.
Later that afternoon, Elayna moved her items back into the bunk cabin.
Twenty-Two
Later that night I lay in bed, letting my heart rate slow down. Eivind sprawled next to me, catching his breath after another session between the sheets. We’d gotten better at keeping quiet, and anytime I had been too tempted to let out a moan, my conversation with Jonas drifted into my head and I bit my tongue.
I turned to look at Eivind. He was flat on his back, legs splayed out and an arm over his face. I would have thought he was falling asleep, but his other hand was in mine, running a thumb over my knuckles.
I licked my lips. “Eivind?”
“Yeah?” came a muffled response.
“I had a conversation with Jonas today.”
Eivind moved his arm to look at me.
“He told me I could stay as long as I wanted on the boat.”
“Yes, I remember that.”
