Page 1 of The Sailor in Polynesia
One
My life could have been a bad motivational poster.
Paradise or purgatory? It all depends on your attitude.
Right now my attitude sucked. I paced inside my boat in the late morning, trying to pick something to do, but nothing sounded good to me: snorkeling, walking on the beach, reading. Can you burn out doing relaxing things?
The most I can stand my own company is four weeks and two days, apparently. At least Liam wasn’t here with me. My teeth ground just thinking about what my ex-husband would say.
But why do I need an ex-husband here to tell me these things? Liam had worked his way so far under my skin that I could hear his voice regardless:You’ll never be able to do this on your own.
What an idiot I was. People arethe worst.
Except for my brother James. He was the best. Speaking of which...
I grabbed my satellite device, a small rectangle that connected to my phone and allowed me a bare minimum of communication—because people suck, right?—and turned it on.
It took forever to boot up and get a signal, but I typed out a message to my little brother.
Hello from paradise.
James was most likely at work, so I didn’t expect a response right away. But only a few moments later my phone pinged with a new message.
Hallelujah, she lives. I was going to send you a message soon to check to make sure you were alive. I was writing your obituary. Mia Walsh: great sailor, until she fell off the face of the earth AND NEVER CALLED HER FAMILY.
I rolled my eyes.I’m alive. How are you?
Same old, same old. I noticed your dot hasn’t moved in a while.
James was referring to the GPS tracker I had on board that uploaded my location.
That’s because I haven’t moved in a while.
What’s so interesting that’s kept you there for so long?
Looking out my window, I wondered the same thing. My boat lolled at anchor in an atoll named Kauehi, in French Polynesia. Under my keel was crystal-clear blue water and in front of me, a sandy beach with palm trees and coconuts. There were no real buildings, no people living here, no one around for miles.
Off to my starboard side lay large columns of coral, which I’d snorkeled countless times. I knew the grooves of the brain coral better than the back of my own hand, the docile black-tipped sharks had been named, and I knew which coconut trees had the sweetest nuts.
It is really beautiful.
Riiiiight. Every place you visit is really beautiful. Why are you there in that one particular harbor?
I didn’t want to tell James that this was the site of one of the biggest fights that Liam and I had ever had. I had sailed here thinking that I could erase a bad memory and make myself magically better, but so far I just felt lonely.
It didn’t help that the other boats that came through here were all couples. Happy couples, sailing from island to island together, popping in to say hi to poor little ole me. I couldn’t deal with it and was now actively trying to avoid people.
James got impatient when I took too long to answer, and my phone chimed again.
Is there anyone else there?
A few boats have come and gone, but it’s still early in the season. So, no, mostly I’m all by myself.
I worry about you all alone.
I’m fine, really.
But are you happy?
