Page 29 of The Sailor in Polynesia
He shook his head. “One day she packed her things and left. Said she did not love me anymore.”
I watched Jonas’s face for a moment and said carefully, “Do you think there was someone else?”
“I do not think so. She said no.”
“Wow. That is hard.”
“Did you leave Liam?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“What about you? Would you get married again?”
I scrunched up my brow in thought. Finally I said, “I like my freedom.”
Jonas nodded, a small frown on his face. “I can understand...” He trailed off.
“You can understand what?”
Jonas stopped and turned to face me, indecision in his expression. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I can understand how you can feel that way about marriage. It is tough for me to reconcile this Mia”—he gestured at me—“with the one I know from the videos. I know some of it is that I had known only a small portion of who you are. But I think”—he looked me in the eye—“that some of it is the Mia who’s recovering from Liam.”
Shame washed over me. I didn’t realize that this was how Jonas saw me, like someone who was a little broken. It was true, but hearing the words still caught me off guard. I stepped back, but Jonas followed me and placed his hands on my shoulders. He ducked down, forcing me to meet his eyes straight on.
“I like this Mia better. You may be a little different, but you are tougher, brighter, more real. This Mia I know, she would not be who she is without everything she’s been through.” He smiled and tugged my ear. “And she will just keep getting better.”
My eyes pricked with tears. Jonas’s smile faded, and he pulled me into his arms. “Oh, Mia, I am sorry. I did not mean...”
I shushed him. “It’s okay.” I turned my face, pressing closer into Jonas and wiping my eyes. “I feel it too. I’m just not there yet. But I’m working on it.”
We pulled back and resumed our walk. When Jonas dropped me off atWelina, it was late afternoon. He said Eivind was proposing that night at sunset.
I sat in the cockpit, keeping an eye onEikand replaying Jonas’s words. Being away from everyone I knew felt like I was looking at myself through a filter. I had only my own thoughts and opinions. For months I had been around my family, who loved me and supported me unconditionally. Maybe I was changing in ways that I couldn’t see for myself. Maybe cruising alone wasn’t a good idea.
A few moments after sunset, I heard whoops and hollers coming fromEik. I watched, alone in my cockpit, while the crew ofEikcelebrated.
* * *
The next day we moved locations. Rotoava was in the north of the atoll, but the best snorkeling, quite possibly in all of the South Pacific, was in the south. We departed in the morning and spent the day slowly sailing inside the atoll.
Eikleft me behind, but I coasted along under sail, keeping an eye out ahead of me for coral heads and shallow spots, while also watching the shore pass me by. Fakarava was narrower than it was long, and I could clearly see the beautiful beaches and small houses on my left and the breaking waves over the reef on my right all day long.
When I approached the mooring field, Jonas came to help me. He picked up the mooring ball and tied my lines off while I stayed back at the helm.
We were with a small group of boats, and the water below the mooring ball was deep enough that I couldn’t see the bottom. But the water was clear and blue, and the beaches on the motus directly in front of us, protecting our anchorage from the ocean swell, were idyllic. White sand and coconut palms stretched out into the distance.
It wasn’t quite as remote as we had enjoyed in Kauehi; there was a resort a mile down the motu and several other cruising boats on the mooring balls.
Jonas followed me back to the cockpit. “Tomorrow we go snorkeling. It is a drift snorkel, through the pass here. Will you join us?”
“I would love to.” This solved a big problem for me: snorkeling alone, especially a drift snorkel, was dangerous. Being swept out to sea would be a horrible way to die.
“Great. We will pick you up at eight.”
I nodded and then surprised myself. Maybe it was because I’d been alone all day, or maybe it was because Jonas was my friend now, but I said, “Would you like to come over for dinner?”
Surprised flashed across Jonas’s face. “Just me?”
“Well, you can invite the others if you want—”
