Page 48 of The Sailor in Polynesia
It had been a while since I’d had this feeling, but I rolled over and dug through the drawer beside my bed. I used to do this every night on passage to help myself fall asleep; I found my bullet vibrator—the only sex toy I had on board—and lay facedown with it pressed between my legs, over my panties. I thought of Jonas’s smile, the quick glimpse of his ass and cock that I saw today, and ground into the vibrations.
I came quickly and rolled over, sweaty and breathing hard, kicking my sheets away to feel the cool breeze of the fan on my skin. And that was how I fell asleep.
* * *
“Mia.”
Gentle fingers stroked my face. I opened my eyes and blinked hard against the sunlight.
“I am sorry to wake you.” Jonas’s face came into focus next to me. He straightened while I yawned and stretched myself out over the covers.
“Is everything okay?” When I looked over at him, his eyes darted to my face from elsewhere, and a blush was creeping up his neck.
Jonas looked exhausted, his hair coming out of his ponytail and his eyes red and deep. The corner of his mouth ticked up. “Everything is fine, except I am falling asleep on my watch. I am sorry—can we switch?” His eyes were on me, almost too much.
“Yeah, of course.” I lay back on the bed and rubbed my eyes. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll come up.”
“Ja.” I heard him pad out of the room, and I sat up and blinked hard, waiting for my eyes to wake up, until something snagged my attention. My hot-pink bullet vibe sitting on top of my cream-colored sheets.
Eighteen
When I took my coffee upstairs, I wished Jonas a good nap, barely able to meet his eyes. I’d tucked my toy away in its proper place, banished until I was well and truly alone. I could see Tahiti in the distance and by the time Jonas was awake again, we were approaching the pass for the reef. Jonas stood at the bow, watching for hazards as I navigated us into the reef, Tahiti’s famous surf breaking waves on either side.
We made it in easily and motored pastEikon a mooring ball. Jonas watched as we passed by. No one came outside, and their dinghy was gone. To save some money, I was staying one night on a mooring ball outside the marina, and Jonas helped me secureWelina.
“We could inflate my dinghy and row you over toEik?” I asked once we were settled in.
Jonas looked thoughtful and shook his head. “I will stay here with you.”
“I have to pack,” I warned.
“That is okay.” He picked up his book and settled in to read.
I went below to the forward cabin and started the arduous task of digging out my luggage. I had a few duffel bags tightly packed away somewhere. They were the kind that folded into their own little pouches to make them easy to store.
Item after item of stuff came out of the lockers. Soon I was surrounded by piles of baggage, stuff that weighed me andWelinadown.
About half of the things were just things, forgotten items or afterthoughts. But the rest crowded around me, pushing memories at me. Here was the tool I’d dropped on the salon floor that had dented the wood. This was a diesel filter Liam had bought that we’d fought over and then never installed in the engine room.
Tears of frustration pricked my eyes. I’dfoughtto get this boat, fought with Liam to keep all this crap for an inkling of a chance that I could stay sailing. I’d replaced my memories at Kauehi with happy ones, yet I still carried around all this weight?
Finally I found two duffel bags, all that I would need for my trip. I looked at the mess of things scattered around me and swallowed thickly.
That was a task for another day. For now, I had to put things back and focus on packing. I reached for the item to the right of my foot and hesitated.
It was a hammock, the two wooden ends wrapped in the macrame sling. I had bought the hammock dreaming of tying it up on deck and lazing about. It never happened. Liam had berated me for buying something so “useless.” His premonition came true: I had never pulled it out for fear of irritating him.
Something made me leave it out this time. After placing the hammock on the bed, I put the rest of the items away and went to go pack.
* * *
Two hours later my bags were packed and I was nearly ready for my flight. I rooted around in a cabinet, digging out some items I’d bought as gifts for my family, and my eye caught on the hammock again.
I threw the trinkets in my bag and tucked the hammock under my arm. Climbing the stairs, I found Jonas in the shade, still reading.
“No sign of your crew?” I said.
“No.”
