Page 40 of Nutcracker with Benefits
“I’m not the right person for Nash.”
“Why?”
“Because he lives in New York. He’s so happy doing what he does, and I need to be out here. This is my entire life, and I can’t be stagnant.”
“Is this a money issue? Cause you could pitch me for another investment.”
“No, it’s not about money. I’m basically covering all my operating costs now.”
“So it’s an emotional issue?”
“It’s not.”
A smile flirts across his lips. “The lady doth protest too much.”
“That’s not what’s happening here,” I say. It’s supposed to come out as a joke, but it dies into sadness, and I feel tears welling up.
“Hey,” Uncle D’s tone sweetens, and he leans forward, taking my hand in his. “Do you love Nash?”
“Of course I do.” The words are quick, like of course I love him, he’s practically family, but Uncle D doesn’t take my bullshit and waits me out.
I dig for the truth, for honesty that most people would never pull out of me, but Uncle D is exactly that person to make me stop and think. I value his opinion on everything from my business to my family.
And I realize that these last few weeks have been grayscale for me. I’m less excited about everything that I’m doing. I’m missing my usual spunk and excitement. I told myself that if I didn’t love Nash, he wouldn’t break my heart someday. But here I am, brokenhearted anyway. And maybe even worse than I would be otherwise because Nash chose me, Nash loves me, and I was the one who was too scared to try to figure out how to make it work.
And for what? My business is successful. I’ve traveled more than I could have ever dreamed when I first started out. Maybe even more than my mom had ever dreamed of traveling.
Because when it came down to it, she chose family instead. While I found that sad at first…now that I’m years into this endeavor, I’m not so sure.
I answer more honestly, more seriously this time. “I do. But I always thought that he’d find someone more well-suited for him. I’m never there. I work my ass off on the road, and he works his off in New York. The timing’s never been right for us, it’s never going to be right for us.”
“Maybe you weren’t ready for him right out of college when you started looking at your blog as a business. Maybe you weren’t ready for him a year ago. But why aren’t you ready now?”
“I’m not ready to give up traveling.”
“Did he ask you to?”
It takes a moment for me to think back. What was it exactly that Nash said? “He asked me to compromise.”
“Can you compromise?”
“He had plenty of ideas for me to compromise. It was easy for him to see me staying in New York and giving things up. But how is he going to meet me halfway?”
“Can I give you some business advice?”
I blink at the change of topic, and Uncle D gives me a wry smile. “Umm...I guess?”
“A lot of what made us successful in business was pivoting. When we got an opportunity, as long as it aligned with our long-term goals and missions, we took it. Being nimble was a part of why we were able to take advantage of the code Nash wrote. Other companies might have said that it wasn’t in the five-year plan or that it wasn’t what the market was doing and it wasn’t worth the time. But together, Nash and I and the rest of our team figured out how to pivot the business and make it work.”
“So, I should…pivot?”
Uncle D shrugs. “You’ve had an opportunity come up. If there’s something you want, you should figure out a way that you can have the thing that makes you happy—like time off with your partner or checking some items off your bucket list—while still keeping to the core of who you are and your goals. And actually,” he stands up, straightening the buttons of his shirt, “you might find that one goal benefits the other. Is it worth asking Nash if he’s willing to make changes?”
What would I ask Nash to do? Just because I can’t see us working out with the changes he suggested doesn’t mean we wouldn’t work out other ways.
“Now, give me a kiss so I can pass it along to your dad when I see him today.”
“Dad’s here?” I ask with surprise.
