Page 78 of Prosecco with My Professor
Bell shrugs. “She didn’t want your help studying, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to refuse all help from you for all eternity. And whoshouldyou talk to about Emma?”
I think for a moment. “Her friends?”
Bell jostles Zola when she backhands my shoulder. “Santo! Help her find an internship.”
“You think she would accept my help?”
“She’d be stupid not to. You know better than anyone what a leg up feels like. Talk her into it.” She leans her shoulder against me. “You’re very persuasive.”
43
Emma
After my last retest,Shonda meets me at a local wine bar to celebrate. It’s been a hectic time, and I am so relieved that it’s over.
“To you, for kicking ass these past few weeks,” Shonda proposes, lifting her glass.
“To it being done,” I add.
We both sip the fruity house red we ordered. “How do you think this last one went?” she asks as we put our glasses down. This last test was for Innovation and Corporate Entrepreneurship.
“Better, I think. Professor Wang said she’d have my grade ready by noon tomorrow.” Then I’ll have a full transcript, the incompletes replaced by grades—assuming I passed this last test. Then I’ll focus my energy on finding an internship. “I can’t thank you enough, Shonda. Honestly, I couldn’t have done it without you. Thanks for keeping me on track and keeping at it, even after your term was over.”
“Yeah, about that.” Shonda sets her glass down on the bar top. Her eyes are on the stem of her wineglass as she rolls it around. “There’s something I wanted to ask you.”
“Okay,” I say slowly.
“Look, I hope you aren’t mad, but I was talking to my mom recently, and I told her about how we’ve been study-buddies together.”
“Study-buddies?”
“I’m cute, I know.” She flashes a grin at me. “Anyway, my mom is a psychologist, and I had kind of wondered if…” Shonda wrinkles her nose. “I wondered if there was something that she would recommend to help you. Aside from the schedule blocking and keeping a notebook on hand, the stuff you already do.”
“Okay,” I repeat.
“She said you could talk to a doctor about being tested for ADHD.”
My eyebrows go up. “I don’t have ADHD. I’m forty-two. When my kids were in school, we were taught to look for signs.”
“Mom says it went undiagnosed in girls a lot because we don’t often have the more obvious signs like hyperactivity. Or it could be a new thing. Perimenopause can cause more pronounced symptoms. And you have a lot of coping mechanisms you use already, so I’m not saying it’s a problem for you. But ADHD after all this time is more likely than you might realize.” She smiles at me. “Sorry, I sound like my mom. It doesn’t have to mean anything. You’re pretty great as it is. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have made it here.”
My brain starts spinning as I remember the scattered focus, the lost keys, all the way back to last summer when I missed a flight when I got confused about the dates. Could ADHD be the explanation for all of that?
“I…I’ll think about it.”
“Cool,” Shonda says. There’s a moment of silence between us before I turn and elbow her.
“Perimenopause? Really?”
She laughs. “Sorry.” And then she changes the subject to something I’m even less excited to talk about. “Have you talked to Professor Offredi at all?”
I groan and slump down. I’ve been trying not to think about it, and my studies were a great distraction. “I haven’t. I don’t know what to say to him. Sorry I got you fired? I miss you?”
When Shonda doesn’t answer, I look up at her. She gestures forward. “That sounds about right. Why not?”
“Because…because what happened wasawful. You didn’t see how distraught he looked. He loved his job and because of me, it was taken away from him. It’s going to haunt me for a long time, I think.” Every time I closed my eyes since that day, I’ve seen Santo waiting for me at the top of the stairs, and the guilt hits me hard.
“And yet he risked that job for you. He knew what he was getting into.”
