Page 8 of Prosecco with My Professor
If I’m going to try dating,I type.
Delete, delete.
What do you do about your–
Delete, delete.
Ugh. I hate that these words aren’t sexy or fun for me. I type out a third attempt and hit send with a cringe.
Emma
I’m looking for um landscaping advice?
Two seconds later,my phone buzzes with an incoming video call from Jade. I answer, and the screen fills with her face, her cheeks flushed and hair bouncing as she power-walks.
“What happened to grocery shopping?”
“Yeah, well, I had just started, and all there was in the cart so far was wine, so I ditched it and am going home so I can give you one hundred percent of my focus. Plus, someone once told me it was extremely inappropriate to discuss our sex lives in the dairy section.” Jade grins at me.
Me. Someone was me.
“I thought you were out of food?”
“Babe, I would rather eat plain spaghetti than miss this.”
The screen swaps over and I see Tessa in her kitchen. We say hello and then Sara pops in. It looks like she’s in the living room of Chris’s house.
The view switches back to Jade. “Emma, tell. Us. Everything. What made you want to do some maintenance? Do you have a date?”
“No, but I will. Someday. And I want to be prepared.”
“Is there something in particular you want to do with it?” Tessa asks.
“What do men like?”
“Oh my god, there’s such a variety,” Jade says. She blows out a breath.
“Well, in the past twenty-three years, it’s only been Bruce, my gyno, and Santo.”
“Did Santo say anything to you about it?”
“No.”
“Were you worried about it?” Sara chimes in.
“Yes.”
“Why?” That’s Jade again.
“I guess…I was maybe worried about stray hairs? And I wanted him to like it. And I was worried it was too much…down there.”
“Look,” Jade says. “My experience is that if a man is going tocomplainabout the hair on your pussy, he’s going to find other things to complain about, too, things that aren’t really any of his business. And those men are never the ones who maintain themselves, either. So, if hedoessay something negative about it: red flag.”
“The point is to do what makes you comfortable,” Tessa says.
“Yeah,” I say, frustration edging my voice. “But I don’tknowwhat would make me comfortable. And what if I hate it?”
“It’ll grow out,” Jade says, reasonably. “You don’t know how your skin will respond to a wax or a full shave, so I think your best bet, if you want to do anything at all, is to use an electric razor and trim the hair.”
