Page 15 of Golden Valley
“Sorry.” Simon Moorehead blushed. “I didn’t mean to stare at your stomach. That was rude.”
“It’s okay.” Ricky shrugged. “A pregnant guy looks weird. I get it.” And the bathroom mirror wouldn’t let him forget it. Neither would his eyes, for that matter. With as round as he was, he couldn’t look anywhere without catching a glimpse of his protruding belly.
“Does it hurt?” Simon closed the door, walked to the bed, and sat beside him.
“Mmm, I’m not sure I’d describe it as painful.” Brow furrowing, he rubbed his hand over his stomach. “It’s definitely not comfortable. My birthing skin feels like it’s on fire from all the stretching and thinning and my back’s pretty sore, especially today, which is why I’m lying down in the middle of the afternoon, but none of that hurts exactly.” At least not as compared to the pain in his chest and in his gut; the ache that served as a constant reminder that he had made a mess of things with his mate.
“Uh-huh.” Simon nodded, teeth digging into his upper lip. “I, uh, don’t want to push and I totally understand if it’s not something you want to talk about.” Swallowing hard, he flicked his gaze away. “When I was younger, before I met Mitch, I came across some people who said things to me and did things to me…” He trembled, closed his eyes, and sucked in a deep breath before opening them. “The point is, I understand that it seems easier to pretend none of it happened, but sometimes it helps to get it out there, you know? And I can listen.”
“It wasn’t like that for me.” Ricky didn’t know precisely whatthatwas because Simon had never told him, but he had danced around the topic enough to hint that someone, or maybe more than one someone, had hurt him. Ricky’s problems, on the other hand, were of his own making.
After pushing his mate for intimacy and not being at all careful in the way he went about getting it, he found himself pregnant in another pack’s territory with the very real possibility that his mate and his uncharacteristically angry pack Alpha would engage in a bloody battle. The only solution he could think of to avoid facing both of those problems was to get Alpha Berger out of Golden Valley. So Ricky snuck out of the office before Morgan came back and then he found Alpha Berger. Physically, he could never force the big Alpha to do anything, but he gained his cooperation by playing on his protective nature, confessing that he was likely pregnant and begging to leave before anyone could find out.
Although that information had driven Alpha Berger further into his fury, it had also done the trick and he had willingly rushed Ricky out of Golden Valley. Then, wanting to ensure that Morgan wouldn’t find him in nearby Purple Sky, Alpha Berger hadn’t gone home. Instead, he had called in favors and found him a place to hide in the far away Blue Mountain pack.
That night, everything had happened too quickly for Ricky to think or make decisions. One moment he was in Golden Valley, crying on Alpha Berger’s shoulder, and seemingly the next, he was in the Blue Mountain Alpha’s house, far away from everything and everyone he had ever known. Exhausted, he slept nearly nonstop for weeks, dreams of his mate comforting him. But once his body adjusted to a new equilibrium, Ricky was stuck living in the waking world, where Morgan wasn’t smiling at him, and his problems, like his stomach, kept growing.
He should have tried harder to explain what happened that night. He shouldn’t have run so far away. He shouldn’t have stayed this long. But he had been too anxious to find the right words to say to the right people, especially to Morgan, and every day that passed made that task more insurmountable. Now he had let it go too long.
“Okay, then.” Simon nodded. “How about you tell me how it was for you?”
Eyes glued to the ceiling, Ricky said, “I messed up and I don’t know how to fix it.” The right thing to do was to face his mate, admit to the consequences of his actions, and ask for forgiveness. That was obvious. But when Ricky opened his mouth to practice the words, nothing came out, or at least not anything useful.“Sorry I chased you down when you were hiding from me and then threw myself at you and insisted on having sex with you without mentioning that I’m a Psi, which if you didn’t know, means I can get knocked up from the exact type of sex I pretty much forced you into and also, when you shifted and went for a run, I shouldn’t have snuck away like a criminal, and oh by the way, we’re going to have a baby,”didn’t seem like a successful first conversation with the man he was supposed to honor. If he called and tried to give that speech, Morgan would hang up on him before he could finish.
Ricky’s only chance of earning his Alpha’s forgiveness was going back to Golden Valley and talking to him in person. But he couldn’t do that in his current condition. He had enough cards stacked against him as it was; no way could he successfully seduce his Alpha while also looking unattractive. Maybe after he gave birth and he got back in shape, he could make a trip to see Morgan, test the waters, and then…
That was always as far as he got in his planning before he hit a wall.
“Youmessed up?” Simon repeated each word slowly. “Well.” He cleared his throat. “It’s good to know that we can do things better to protect ourselves, but even if we don’t do everything perfectly, that doesn’t mean we were bad. Do you want to tell me about it and maybe I can help figure out how to help you fix whatever it is you think you did wrong?”
Hiding his shameful behavior had saved his pride, but it hadn’t brought him any closer to a solution to his problems. If admitting what he had done could help him face his mate again, Ricky was willing to do it. Even if the prospect made him feel itchy. Sitting up against the headboard, he scratched at his neck and said, “I’m not sure what Alpha Berger told you guys when he asked if I could stay here.”
“He didn’t say much. Just that you needed help, that it wasn’t safe for you in Purple Sky, and that you were…” Simon looked meaningfully at Ricky’s distended belly. “I’d never heard of Psi shifters before so I didn’t know men could pregnant.”
“I didn’t know either until I met Alpha Berger. He’s the one who explained it to me.” Learning that the crinkly skin on his belly wasn’t a defect had thrilled Ricky. He had immediately started fantasizing about meeting a handsome man and raising a family together. Or, if he were really honest, the fantasies had focused more on what the man would be doing while getting him pregnant than the actual raising of children, but Ricky had been excited about that too. Then he met his mate and quickly ruined everything.
“It’s amazing,” Simon said.
“Uh huh. Amazing.” An amazing way to turn a moment’s mistake into a lifetime of consequences. Ricky cleared his throat and pushed his hand under his shirt to scratch the itch that had spread over his entire torso. “Right before I came here, I went with Alpha Berger on a visit to Golden Valley. When we were there I met—” He jerked his gaze down and yanked his shirt up with his free hand. “What is that?”
“What is what?” Simon followed his gaze and then he jumped up from the bed, eyes wide. “Oh. Uh.”
He had intended to scratch his stomach, but instead of his fingernails making contact with skin, they had dipped beneath it. Or maybe it was into it. Whatever the right description, Ricky’s fingertips were now piercing his birthing skin, which meant they were essentially inside his body. And the feeling was not pleasant.
“Is your stomach always that, uh, shimmery?”
“It’s been getting more and more stretched, and the last few days it’s been almost translucent but not like this.” Ricky put his fingers on his belly, pushed a little, and again dipped into his body.
“Is that supposed to happen?” Simon said breathlessly. “Does it mean the baby is coming?”
“I don’t know.” Ricky shook his head and pulled his hand back, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away from his now achy belly. “I mean I think it’s supposed to happen.” Wesley Stone, the Alpha who had left Purple Sky to join the Red River pack, was also a Psi and he had filled Ricky in on what to expect for the birth of his child, but the conversation made his situation too real so he had ended it as soon as possible. In retrospect, he should have asked some questions. “But I didn’t realize it would be like this.” He put his palm over the hot, damp skin and his heart rate increased. “I don’t know if that’s what it means.”
“I’ll go get help,” Simon said as he turned toward the door.
Ricky reached out and clutched his wrist. “I’m scared,” he said as he choked back tears.
“Hey, don’t cry.” Simon stepped closer and cupped his cheek. “We’ll take care of you.”
“I know.”
