Page 25 of Finally
“No?”
Though he had never spoken to Jack about his hookups, their friends clearly had. He hadn’t ever wanted to talk to Jack about a sex life that didn’t involve him, but now he wondered whether that had been a mistake. Some of the things Jack had said and the nervous way he had been acting made Gray realize there was something holding him back when it came to the physical side of their blossoming relationship. Maybe if he was open about his past, Jack would be willing to share information about his own history.
After carefully considering his next words, Gray said, “None of the sex I’ve had meant enough to memorialize on film.”
“Oh.” Jack looked off to the side, squinting. “I guess that’s true for me too.”
He knew Jack hadn’t dated much after his breakup, but that information surprised Gray. “You were with Jaime for ten years.”
“Yeah.” Jack lowered his gaze.
“Jack?”
“Uh huh.”
“Should we talk about this?”
“No.” Jack sighed. “Probably.” He shuffled over to his bed and sat down.
Gray followed and sat beside him. “Do you make your bed every day?” He skated his palm over the paisley bedspread.
Jack nodded.
“I do too.” He put his hand on Jack’s knee and squeezed it.
They sat quietly for a couple of minutes, and he caressed Jack’s knee while he waited, knowing that during difficult conversations, Jack often needed time to mentally process before articulating his thoughts.
Eventually, Jack said, “If I ask you something, do you promise to tell me the truth?”
“I’ve never lied to you and I’m not about to start now.”
“Are you here because you feel sorry for me?”
Gray reared back. That was not what he had expected to hear. “What the hell, Jack? No, of course not. Why would I feel sorry for you?”
“I don’t know. I mean, you could be in any guy’s bedroom right now instead of in mine. I realize that.”
“Are you asking me if I’m here for a pity fuck? That’s what you’re getting at, right?”
Jack raised his shoulders.
“That’s absolutely not the case and I think…” Gray considered whether he wanted to finish his sentence knowing that however Jack responded to his question was likely toaggravate him but decided he didn’t have a choice. “I think I need to know what happened between you and Jaime.”
“There isn’t much to say really.” Jack licked his lips. “He wasn’t into me like that.”
“Wasn’t into you like that,” Gray repeated, saying each word slowly as he tried to process the meaning of the sentence. “And bylike that, you mean?”
“Sexually, I guess.” He sighed and hunched in on himself. “I’m not the kind of person people want to be with that way.”
“You’re telling me your boyfriend of a decade didn’t want to have sex with you?”
“Maybe I was lousy in bed.”
He had been correct in his concern that Jack’s answer would aggravate him. Gray hadn’t thought he could like Jaime any less than he already did, but apparently, he had been wrong. His already negative view of Jack’s ex became more pronounced.
“Did he say that?”
“No.” Jack shook his head. “He didn’t explain, really. Just said it was a him thing not a me thing. I tried to…you know, at the beginning, but I could tell I was making him uncomfortable so I stopped.”
