Page 116 of An Enigma for the Lycan Crown Prince
“He regretted his decision,” she says. “He claims he wants me and that he will wait for how long I need to make a decision.”
“And what do you want?” Geneva asks gently.
“I don’t know,” she says. “For now, I just want to be there for the children.”
“Do you know where my father is buried?” I ask.
She nods and scribbles something on a note before handing it to me. The conversation evens out eventually. There is not much more Grace can tell us, and I don’t want her to relive her own trauma again. She didn’t do anything, yet she was caught up in this whole tragedy.
Geneva and I step outside, both of us taking a lungful of fresh air. Dad died in such a cruel and tragic way. If Mom had her strength left, she would have saved him earlier, she would have known where he was. But she couldn’t. And Grandma... I don't know why exactly she couldn't feel her son dying, but I guess Geneva is right. Maybe it was because of the spell my dumb father had cast on himself, but she died thinking he had abandoned us all. She died without ever learning the truth!
Why did it have to be like that? I can feel tears dripping down my face and onto my hands. Geneva wraps me in her arms, rocking me gently.
Why did I have to lose them all? How is that fair?
It’s not fair!
thirty-seven
A Rock in the Water
*FLORA*
Ihave been staring out into the night sky for I don’t know how long. I don’t even know how I returned home; I am just glad that Geneva was with me. She made sure I was alright, before she had to leave me again, while I made sure to push her to go and not to worry about me. In fact, I wanted to be alone for a while.
I can’t help the bitterness in me whenever I think about Dad. If only he never left, if only he returned when Grace told him to. He could have been with Grandma and me all this time. Who knows how different our lives would have been? I believe that every decision we make is like a rock we toss into the smooth surface ofa lake. No matter how small it is, it always draws circles, makes waves and will influence everything in its way.
…Flora…
I frown when I hear the voice. That’s… “Mom?”
My heart makes a little leap at hearing her voice. I close my eyes, trying to force my mind and my raging emotions to calm down. I try to think of Grandma and how she smelled like, how she hugged me, and how she always had a smile for me. She was never impatient with me, never mean. She never yelled at me. I am sure I was exhausting sometimes, but she never showed it. She just showed me love and guided me through this difficult world.
I open my eyes again to see Ersa, or rather my mother, sitting next to me on a field of flowers. “You are getting very good at visiting on your own,” she says.
“I am getting used to it,” I admit. “But it’s still difficult.”
She takes my hand into hers. “With every time, it will get easier,” she promises.
Silence lingers around us for a while. “You watched me, didn’t you?” I ask quietly.
She nods, her fingers squeezing my hand slightly.
“Then you know what happened to Dad.”
“I wish I still had my powers,” she says. “But when I died, my connection to Gilbert got severed, and I could only watch him through my bond to you. If I still had my powers, I could have saved him. I could have found him and talked sense into him and made him return.”
“Could the Moon Goddess have helped you?” I ask.
“My mother?” Ersa looks at me thoughtfully. “It doesn’t work like that, unfortunately. I am just a small deity, but Selene is a major one. She plays a different role in this universe. She can’t constantly involve herself in her shifter’s fate.”
“But she chooses our mates,” I say. “How is that different? And there are prophecies! In fact, I am part of one.” I frown. “Okay, prophecies are rare, but they exist. Mates, however, they are a huge constant in our existence. Besides, there are blessed wolves, our gifts…”
Mom looks thoughtful. “You are right. She already involves herself enough the way she does. But your gifts, and your mate’s, are all just options you have. What you do with them is on you. It’s a chance her shifters have, but they need to make the decisions themselves.”
“Like tools?”
“Yes, I like that comparison. And sometimes, the mates she sends your way will prove to be more of a test or lead you a certain path, but you still have a choice. But you are right, she is already very much involved with your fates. It’s exactly the reason she can’t involve herself anymore. As for me-” she pauses. “I can’t just use her powers for my personal gain. And why should she only help me? What with all the other shifters who’d need her? How can we decide who to help? Who is worth being sought out? If a major deity intervenes in the fate of the humans all the time, it will always have an effect, and mostly not just a positive one.”
