Page 130 of My Broken Mate
“There is nothing between us anymore,” he says. “I have laid it out in the open, and I know my wolf isn’t strong enough to mark you yet, but for the first time in years, I am convinced that eventually he will be.”
“Yes!” I exclaim. “YES!”
“Okay,” he chuckles, his cheeks flushing slightly. His hands keep brushing over my side, reminding me that we are still naked.
“Remus, do you want to do more tonight?” I ask softly. “I can mark you, and we can cuddle. Nothing needs to happen.”
“I want to make love to you,” he says. “I am just not sure if it will work out the way we plan for it.”
“We are not planning it at all,” I reassure him, deciding to tread as carefully as possible. “Did you…” I pause. “You have experience, haven’t you? You had a girlfriend in school?”
He nods.
“Did you like sleeping with her?”
“No,” he answers honestly. “I loathed her touch. But I didn’t feel anything for her. I just forced myself to do it because that’s what everyone did.” He sighs. “I was always pretty good at numbing myself down to bear whatever was happening to me.” He pauses. “I am sorry, this has to be exhausting for you.”
“It isn’t,” I say emphatically. “But I want you to promise me that you will tell me if you change your mind midway. You can always change your mind! Just because you are saying now thatyou want sex, doesn’t mean we need to go through with it. We can try, but if you don’t want to go further, that’s fine. I want you to know that it’s okay to say no whenever you feel it. Don’t numb yourself down with me just because you don’t want to hurt me. Please, promise me.” I wait for him to nod before taking his hand. “How about you take control?” I offer.
He blinks at me. “What?”
“That way you can decide what we do, and how far we go.”
I wish I could have read into this more, how to make someone with trauma feel comfortable in a sexual situation, but I have to wing it now. Maybe for once, my over-empathetic nature will prove to be useful.
“And I can announce everything I am going to do,” I offer.
For a moment, he is quiet, then a smile lights up his face. “See? This is why you are my light.”
The adoring way he looks at me, before his gaze turns more heated as he takes in my body, immediately sends a shiver down my spine. Taking my hand, he gently leads me to the bed. I let him take the lead, allowing him to set the pace. When he settles down, his back leaning against the headrest and his legs stretched, I place my knees on either side of his legs, straddling him that way. The look in his eyes turns darker again. Reaching out his hand, he lets his fingers wander down my neck to my breasts. They have always been a point of insecurity for me. Partly thanks to my stepmom, who kept telling me that boys only liked big boobs, and that I should hide my smaller ones so as not to get embarrassed.
Remus, however, doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seems to like them. His touch gets bolder as he cups one of them, his thumb teasing my nipple.
“Can I touch you, too?” I ask.
“Of course.”
I slip closer, making it easier for both of us to reach each other, but also making sure Remus doesn’t feel too cornered. I want him to know he can always get away from my touch. I have been waiting to feel his skin under my fingers. It’s smooth, his muscles flexing under my touch. He is lean, but it’s obvious he is working out. Everything about his body, from his face, down his chest to his dick and ass, is beautiful. He is blemish-free, which would trigger my insecurities usually. But I do not feel awkward or insecure around him. I trust him so much.
This realization makes me bolder and more confident. I allow my hands to move downwards, my fingers gliding over the small trail of hair from his stomach down to his groin. When I look up at him to see if he is still with me, his eyes bore right into me. His gaze is so heated that I don’t need to ask. Using the precum on his cock for lubricant, I wrap my hands around his shaft, feeling the texture of his dick, the vein on the underside. I glance up at him again to gauge his reaction and to see if he is still into it. As an answer, he leans forward, and his lips roam my neck, sucking right at the spot where, hopefully one day, I will carry his mark.
Oh yes!
His hand continues to knead my breast while his other hand moves to my ass.
Double yes!
I decide to trust him to tell me when things get too much, and instead go with the flow, allowing myself to fall into the sensations as well. I can feel his cock getting harder as I brush my thumb over the tip of it.
I wonder if it would be better to…
Goddess, should I?
I stop briefly, angling my head to meet Remus’ lips and kiss him. Moving back a little, I bend down to move my lips over the tip of his cock.
“Fuck!” he curses.
I instantly pull away. “Not good?”
