Page 85 of My Broken Mate
“I had a feeling. I guess I just know you too well,” Lyle admits quietly. “So, what happened last night? I didn’t expect you to see reason so fast. I had a whole plan laid out about how to convince you to believe me. Seriously, you are different today than usual.”
I battle with myself for a moment, glad that Lyle doesn’t say anything and instead gives me the time to settle my thoughts. This is my best friend. He knows things others don’t. He doesn’t know all, but he knows some and has never shared it with anyone. For a moment, I see Kata and her friends in front of my inner eye, and the way her best friend Ayden supports her and even made sure she and I had the time and place to find each other. Deciding to take these two as an example for me, I grab Lyle’s arm and pull him into a secluded corner. I gaze around to make sure no one is around. “I will kill you if you tell anyone what I am going to say now, and I am not even joking.”
“This has to be good,” he mutters. “What happened?”
“Katalina,” I say.
Lyle stares at me. “What… yes!” he exclaims.
I shush him, and he lowers his voice. “I knew you found her cute.”
“Really?”
“Yes, she got under your skin, and no one usually does that,” he pauses, scrunching his nose. “Unless it’s Gabriel, but that’s different.”
“That’s not all that happened, though,” I say.
He looks at me curiously, and I put my hand on my heart and then link my fingers together. I don’t dare to say it out loud, in case anyone might be listening. Lyle stares at me. “Wait a moment…”
“I felt it when she touched me,” I say. “Clearly. And I could feelhim,too.”
I don’t need to say any more, because Lyle catches on immediately. “This is—” he stops, grasping for words. “Fuck, this is amazing! I have no words, but I am so happy for you.” He pauses. “And what now?” he asks.
“I am not ready to tell anyone,” I admit. “I felt”—I lower my voice again—“my wolf for the first time. But I want to explore it a bit longer, and Kata is on board with it.”
“Your secret is safe with me,” Lyle promises. “And you better believe we are getting down to the core of it. Your wolf is here, and you have proof of it now. Plus, he will only get stronger now.” He pauses. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell Alpha Sean? I bet he will be so happy and relieved.”
My mind wanders to Sean. Maybe he would be relieved, but what if, despite having a mate, I won’t be able to properly connect to my wolf? I know, Kata doesn’t mind, and weirdly, I do believe her, but my brother? I am not so sure. I don’t want to get his hopes up and then disappoint him, again. “I want some more time to figure this out,” I say. “Then, I will tell him.”
“It’s your decision,” Lyle says. “I will have your back anyway.”
Chapter twenty-five
A New Side To Him
*REMY*
My talk with Lyle did help with getting one issue off my chest, namely that I still have a friend to rely on, but it didn’t help me with the feeling of coldness that creeps onto me the further I walk into the packhouse, up the stairs and to the Alpha Suite. It’s like a cold hand that grips my heart and chases all the feelings of hope away from me.
I notice once more how much it means to me when I am with Kata. I didn’t notice at first, but since last night, I finally realized it. Kata is my sun, chasing my demons away when I am near her, but when she is not around, everything feels dark.
I let my bag drop on the floor of my room, looking around. Ayden is right. It doesn’t look like someone lives here. While I didn’t lie to him that I can’t sleep well and any additional objectdistracts me, it’s also true that there is no real personality in my room. It’s like I have mentally checked out of it.
The minutes drip by with me just standing there and staring at the nothingness of the white wall, slowly feeling how the darkness wraps itself around me. I can almost see it, like dark hands reaching for me, cold arms gripping me and holding me in place, suffocating me with their tight grip. The dull pain in my head starts again, slowly, but I know it too well not to guess what’s coming.
Another migraine. Again. So shortly after the last one!
My eyes wander to my desk, falling on the last drawer where I keep random items. I don’t even truly register that I am moving, like an out-of-body experience, but a minute later, I am back in my spot, holding the shard in my hand, the one I picked up when Gabriel found me. I have kept it all this time, hiding it beneath my other things. I am not sure why I kept it, I just did. Wrapping my hand around it, it feels like a tingle first, the hint of pain as the sharp edges cut into the skin of my palm. Little drops of blood appear, grounding me and pushing the shadows back. They haven’t cut deep yet, and the damage is just superficial, not like the last time. The last time it was deep, leaving a painful cut that kept me grounded for days.
Maybe it works a second time. Gabriel and Sean know I am clumsy and that I can get hurt easily because my wolf can’t heal me. They won’t get suspicious. Lyle and Kiki wouldn’t either. They might wonder about it, but I doubt they would ask too much.
Kata would ask.
Goddess, she would ask. I know it. She wouldn’t be fooled.
Like a flash in front of my inner eye, I can see her face. She would be so worried if she knew what I was doing, and maybe even blame herself. She would be sad, and no one is supposed to steal the light from her eyes, not even me.
My phone buzzes, pulling me out of my conflicting thoughts. Unlocking it, there’s a message from Kata!
