Page 30 of Fangirl
Not just Anlon from the book.
But Anlon through Amy’s eyes.
Damn.
Shit.
I want to bethatAnlon. Not just for this film, but forher.
I want her to see me like she seeshim—to believe in me the way she believes in Anlon’s story.
How much would it take? Certainly not this.
Not me hiding behind a deepfake, playing pretend, letting a program filter my real face into something less polished, more real.
But the thing is, I know if I show her my real face, she’ll never talk to me again.
She hates Jake.No. That’s not entirely true.
She hates what he represents—what I, Elijah JacobCohen, used to mock endlessly before I moved to LA and let myself become part of the machine… before I stopped questioning it and started playing the part without a second thought.
At least for a while.
And I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose Elijah for now, and I especially don’t want to lose Amy’s spontaneity, her intelligence, and the way she breathes life into every conversation.
But how long can I keep this up? How long before she figures it out?
I know I should tell her. That I should rip off the Band-Aid now before this turns into something real. Before I let myself get in any deeper.
Before I let myself want her.
But I’malready in too deep. I can feel it in the way I reach for my phone the second I wake up, in the way my stomach clenches every time I see her name pop up on my screen.
She’s my escape.
And maybe that’s the problem—she doesn’t deserve to be lied to.
But if I tell her now, if I say,Hey, by the way, I’m actually Jake Hollander,she’ll be gone.
No more teasing messages. No more late-night conversations. No more her.
And I’m selfish enough to keep her a little longer… just a little longer because I’m happier texting with her for hours than I’ve ever been at some exclusive event, surrounded by people who don’t give a damn about me beyond what my name can do for them.
And that’s the real problem, isn’t it?
I could tell her now. Ishould… before it gets too messy. Before she gets too close.
But I don’t.
Not yet.
I know exactly how this ends.
I just don’t want to face it yet.
CHAPTER 6
AMY
