Page 31 of Fangirl
"He's really cute," Maya agrees, studying the screenshot like it’s a police evidence file. "He reminds me of someone, but I can't quite put my finger on it."
She hands my phone back, and I take it, chewing on the inside of my cheek.
"He is very good-looking."Maybe a little too good-looking, a voice in the back of my mind whispers.
Maya narrows her eyes. "You didn't do the Dwayne Johnson eyebrow thing, did you?"
I purse my lips.
She sighs deeply, shaking her head. "Amy, sweetheart, you know I love you to bits, but I’ve told you before, it doesn’t make you look cool; it makes you look like you’re holding in a fart."
My mouth falls open, mortified. Did I do the eyebrow thing? Oh god, I probably did!
No amount ofpenispep talks could recover my shattered dignity after that.
I reach for my mimosa, downing it in one go before wordlessly gesturing to the waiter for a refill.
Bless Maya for choosing a bottomless brunch. At this rate, I’ll be an alcoholic by dinner.
"I—" I shake my head, already exasperated with myself. "Maybe I did. But that’s not the point. Did you even hear what I just said?"
She nods, picking up a strawberry with deliberate slowness, her eyes dancing with amusement.
"Hot nerd love. It’s beyond cute. It’s like watching you fall in love with Bobby March all over again."
"Bobby March?" I repeat, a nostalgic smile tugging at my lips. "From primary school?"
Maya nods, her smirk widening as she pops the strawberry into her mouth. "Who else? The moment he pushed you off the swing and pulled on your pigtail, I knew it was love."
I burst into laughter.
"Oh yes," I reply, rolling my eyes. "That’s totally thesame thing."
Before I can steer the conversation back on track, Maya leans in suddenly.
"So… did you do it yet?"
I choke.Actuallychoke, on air, my mimosa, my entire existence.
I sputter, coughing violently as the liquid makes a disastrous detour up my nose, burning all the way.
Maya cackles as I frantically grab a napkin, dabbing at my face and chest, trying to salvage whatever dignity I have left.
"What?" I manage to wheeze between coughs, my voice strained and borderline panicked. "Did you forget that he's in LA, and I'm here, sitting right in front of you?" I gesture between us, emphasizing the very real, very physical distance that separates me from any potential romantic encounters.
Maya arches an eyebrow, smirking like the devil herself. "Have you ever heard of cybersex? It’s pretty hot."
I choke again.
She laughs, completely unbothered, twirling her mimosa like she’s discussing brunch specials instead of my nonexistent sex life.
"Matt and I had our fair share of fun during his US placement," she continues, her voice dripping with scandalous delight. "Let me tell you, it definitely spices things up when you’re physically apart."
I groan, covering my face with both hands. "I can only imagine," I mutter with pure secondhand embarrassment.
I peek at her between my fingers. "But with Eli, it’s different." And maybe that’s part of the problem. I don’t know if I can ever take things to that level. Not just with him, but with anyone. The idea of intimacy, of letting someone see me completely, is terrifying in ways I don’t even have the words for. But with Eli, somehow, I feel like I have time. Like I don’t have to rush.
She hums, but there’s a hint of curiosity in her eyes now.
