Page 23 of Constantine: Britain's Story: Part 2
The three dots appear, before they disappear. Again. I know texting doesn’t have a tone, but I feel like his text may as well have said:What the fuck? Why is your ex-husband staying at your house when you just told me you needed to be alone!?I’m starting to get that awful feeling like I’m doing something wrong, I’mguiltyof being wrong, and I don’t like it.
Jess and I are going to watch Pride and Prejudice, eat a pizza, and snuggle with Eden. I just wanted to say goodnight and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
Goodnight.
Definitely still salty.
“So this is the only place that’ll deliver to you?” Jess asks as she unstacks pizza boxes on the counter.
“Yep, but it’s honestly pretty good.” Even though we’re closer to town, there’s even fewer restaurants at Robles Lake than at Spearhead. Here, we’ve got one pizza place and a half-decent grocery store.
“I’ll be the judge of that,” Damian says as he swoops in, snagging a slice out of the box Jess just opened.
“Hey! Ladies first,” Jess says, shooting daggers with her eyes in Damian’s direction.
“Aren’t you a bit too feminist for that sentiment, Jess?”
“Not when it comes to food!”
I roll my eyes at both of them and put two pieces on my plate. I don’t know why, but my stomach’s already turning and I can tell I’ll probably only be able to get one piece down. I instinctively go to put one back, but Jess stops me.
“Uh uh, no. Girl, you need to eat.” Resistance is futile, so I slide onto the stool next to Eden who is strapped into her high chair that’s mounted to the counter top. She’s fumbling for Cheerios, wearing nothing but a bib and diaper. Her dark brown hair is quickly becoming matted with mushed cereal, but even so, she might be the prettiest baby…ever. My girls were adorable, but Eden is gorgeous.
“So, when are you disappearing, Damian, so I can talk to my best friend?” I chuckle at Jess’ question.
“Jesus, subtle much? Let me just get another slice and I’ll take myself outside. Need to make some phone calls anyway.”
“Yeah, don’t forget to check in withSummer.” Jess gives him a pointed look before looking at me. I must look confused because she gives me her signature head nod, the one that says she’ll spill the tea once he leaves.
Damian just stares her down, only briefly glancing in my direction before walking out the back door.
“What was that about?” I ask.
“He didn’t tell Summer he’s staying here. I overheard him on the flight talking to her.”What the hell, Damian?
“Uhh, not cool.”
“Nope. I’m surprisedyou’renot more upset about it, though.”
I shrug. “Not my circus, not my monkeys — at least not anymore.”
“Word.”
“Plus, I’m a little preoccupied with my own shit.”
“Yeah, so when do I get to meet thisAdonis?” Jess moves to sit on the other side of Eden.
“Uh, I don’t really know. We kind of had a weird day today. I don’t know what’s going on between us.”
“Uh oh.”
“It’s not bad. It’s just I think he wants more than I’m ready to give. Well, actually, I know that’s exactly what it is. I’m not ready, but he’s feeling ready to be in this serious relationship.” I tell Jess about earlier, how he wanted to be intimate and I stopped him. How I told him I’m still dealing with trying to get over Liam, and about the short text messages. I shrug, “It’s hard, because I want to be that person, but I don’t know that I have it in me right now.”
“You shouldn’t feel like you need to be anybody else but yourself. If you’re feeling otherwise, that’s telling you something right there.” Jess is right. I should be able to just be me. “Let me ask you this, do you like Matthias?”
“Yeah, I-”
“No, do you likelikeMatthias? Like you want to be around him when he’s not near, and you think about him all the time, and you’d be devastated if he stopped coming around.”Not really. Maybe. I don’t know.
