Page 25 of Ever's Last
“I just don’t know.”
“Maybe you’ll discover things.”
I don’t think I will. Even if I did this kind of show, the guys wouldn’t be down to Earth. He leaves me to my thoughts.
I need a break and head outside. I love the barn. I sit up in the hayloft, just thinking.
“Mind if I join you?” I can’t get rid of any of these guys today, especially the guy that haunts my thoughts and dreams.
“Sure,” I reply, and he sits.
We sit in silence for a few moments.
“What are you passionate about, Ever?”
“Family. You. Or I was.”
“Was?” He shakes his head.
“Yeah. I was young and stupid so long ago. I read more into our relationship. My heart was ripped into a million pieces that night.” He hasn’t ever heard me say this to him. Maybe because when he’s in town, he never bothered to come talk to me. That hurt worse than the accident.
“Ever, I’m sorry. I was a horrible dick. I wasn’t a friend that night.”
“I don’t think you ever were, not after what Skye said. I thought I was making all those picnic baskets for you, not for you and her.” I found out about him taking them to her later on, and yet I still kept making them for him.
He swallows hard. “I was young and stupid once.”
“I hate you. I hate that you’re here. I hate that I have to watch you date other women. And I hate that I’m not one of them. But I don’t want to be them either, because one of them is going to get their heart broken.”
I say nothing more and he just nods. I have every right to hate him, but I’m still not ready to leave him yet. He seems lonely.
“What are you passionate about?” I change the subject.
“Fighting. I love being in the ring. I also love my mom. She hasn’t been very happy with me lately.”
“She still loves you.”
“I’m sure she does.”
“Why did you do the show?”
“Honestly, I didn’t want to. But with all this image shit, I guess I had no choice.”
“Do you ever think that you would want to love again?”
“I think so. But not on here.” I nod at his revelation.
“Sometimes we have to go through trials and tribulations to find what we are looking for. I told you before that you have to know what you want before you can find it. I think you need to be honest with everyone, including yourself. Ask yourself the question, what do you, Memphis Bradford, want. And answer it honestly.”
He sighs and I turn to see the turmoil on his face.
I can’t help myself as I reach up and cup his cheek. I wish I could take all his doubts and sadness away. He might have hurt me, but deep down he’s hurting just as much.
He closes his eyes and holds my hand to his cheek. It might sound corny, but it was one of the most tender moments I’ve ever had with a guy. The only boyfriend I’ve ever had never wanted to just sit like this and stare out across the pasture in comfortable silence. Nor would he ever let me touch his face. I’m glad I got a little piece of Memphis today, even if it is years later.
“Thank you,” he says softly. I lean up and kiss him tenderly before getting up and leaving.
That’s what I want. Moments like that.
