Page 47 of The Secret We Keep
He rubs the back of his neck and sighs like he’s trying to release his tension. He looks like he’s aged in the past few weeks. It makes me wonder who’s been there for him while he’s been away. Friends? A girlfriend, perhaps?
“She doesn’t have anyone else.”
His words are sombre.
“Well, it looks like she has you now.”
He studies me, a small pull of his lips that never quite reaches a full smile. “Yeah. Poor kid.”
I suddenly don’t understand. “What makes you say that?”
Keen, dazzling eyes search mine. As though he’s reading my thoughts, he sighs, disbelievingly. “Because I’m a fuck up.”
I can’t help myself. Grabbing his wrist, I pull him to look at me. I am never this confident with anyone, but with Paddy… I spent years pining over him. Lost sleep over him. I know he’ll never see me as anything more than his sister’s friend, but seeing him so down and hating himself, it’s unsettling. I hate seeing him so fragile.
“Paddy O’Keefe is not a fuck up.”
He licks his lips with a subtle shake of his head. “You don’t know what I did, Morgs.”
“No, but I know you well enough to know that whatever you did came from a place of love.” God, I can’t believe I’m talking to him like this.
“You still blindly put your trust in me?” It isn’t really a question.
I shrug but I can’t deny my feelings. “It’s easy trusting you.” Before the silence that begins stretching between us gets any bigger, I say, “Remember when I was eighteen and you came to pick up Fi from mine and saw me crying?” He nods, and I feel my cheeks flush at recalling the story. “Well, do you remember what you said to me when I told you who had upset me?”
He looks Evie’s way, checking she’s okay. “It was Rory Lane, right?”
My head dips. “That’s the one.”
“I told you I would kick his head in if you wanted me to.”
I hold his gaze. “You didn’t even know what had happened, and you were willing to do that to him for upsetting me. Why?”
It’s his turn to look embarrassed. “I don’t know.” He scratches his head, breaking eye contact.
“I don’t believe you.”
His eyes snap back to me. “What? Why?”
Feeling brave and without overthinking, I say, “Come on, Paddy, be real for a second. You liked being the hero. You always went out of your way to help anyone. I always knew you would go on to help people professionally. Personally, I thought you would become a police officer, but becoming a paramedic is so fitting. Honestly, it makes so much sense for you to do what you do.”
Unlike me who never achieved anything.
He clears his throat. “Maybe.” He looks at Evie then back at me, apparently unable to take my compliment. “What did he do to upset you?”
I double take. “Who? Rory?”
“Yeah.”
So many years have passed since that night. Paddy can’t surely want to know what really happened. “He uh…” My hands tie together nervously. “He wasn’t very nice, that’s all.”
After a beat, Paddy chuckles. “You know, you shouldn’t lie, Morgan Brooks.”
My head snaps his way. “I’m not.”
Dark eyebrows pull on his head. “Okay, well, you should know that Fi and I were pretty close before I left to work in the city. She told me what happened.”
Forcing myself not to combust, my throat suddenly feels too tight. I never told anybody what happened, so Fi couldn’t have told him. “No, she didn’t,” I manage to push out.
