Page 20 of Michael's Awakening
Chapter Eight
Michael
The saying goes: you are the master of your own fate. But, I believe that whoever came up with that was full of shit. My fate was sealed from the first moment I laid eyes on Gabriel. I had no choice, no other alternative. I knew I had to have this man that had awoken a fire inside me with the beauty of his light. He’d pierced the veil of my darkness I was a prisoner within and awakened a small part of me.
And now that I saw a shimmer of light– a shimmer of hope– I didn’t want to live in the dark anymore.
After I could move again and came down from the high of my release, I laid Gabriel down on the bed. He was curled into a ball on his side as his small frame released slow, even breaths and I knew he was about to fall asleep. Sliding off the condom, I tied the end of it into a knot and got up from the bed to discard it in the trash– wherever that may be.
There was a door that connected to Gabriel’s bedroom that looked like it could be the bathroom so I walked over and cracked it open. I flicked on the light and grinned. Yep, it was definitely the bathroom, and there was purple and pink everywhere. The shower curtain was purple with a bright pink shower rod and matching curtain rings holding it up. On the curtain were pictures of diamonds, jewels, and tiaras with the word “Fabulous” written in a fancy white font. Catching a glimpse of a blue bottle, I scanned the label and smiled. It was an aromatherapy lavender-vanilla shower gel.
That explained why he smelled like lavender.
The rugs on the floor were a deep purple and the soap dispenser and toothbrush holder were hot pink with fake diamonds covering them. Shaking my head, I walked over and tossed the condom in the trash can before turning on the faucet to wash my hands.
I hadn’t removed my shirt during sex for obvious reasons; I didn’t want Gabriel to be disgusted with me. I could tell he’d wanted to touch me like I was touching him, but I couldn’t allow it. Tonight was the first night I ever had sex with someone in that way. I’d never kissed another man on the lips, and I had never held another man close to me as I took him. It was passionate and there was a deeper connection than just the powerful lust that had driven us both.
However, I knew it couldn’t last.
Glancing around, I searched for a washcloth. Gabriel had made quite the mess all over himself and I didn’t want him rolling around in it all night. I spotted a pink– no surprise there– hand towel by the sink and ran some warm water over it. When I walked back into the room, he was in the exact same spot I had left him.
Something tugged at my chest when I saw him lying there. He looked so peaceful and beautiful when he slept that I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
That would probably be the last time I saw him. Someone like him would never want someone like me.
Pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind, I took a seat on the edge of the bed and gently turned him to his back. He was so warm and soft, but also strong. His stomach was lean, but I could feel the hard muscles underneath. It was obvious that Gabriel really looked after himself. Leaning forward, I placed a kiss on his chest.
I used the washcloth to clean him up until the mess was gone, and then looked around for a dirty clothes hamper to toss the cloth into. Noticing a hamper by the closet door, I placed the washcloth inside and then turned back to look at Gabriel.
Short, spiky blond hair was in disarray around his head as he cuddled into a cheetah print pillow. He still had those sexy-as-fuck shoes on and I could feel myself growing hard again at the sight of him. Taking a deep breath, I walked over and began unfastening his shoes and slid them off his feet.
A soft sigh left his lips as he turned back over on his side and clutched the pillow tighter against him.
My chest did that tugging sensation again and I knew I was knee-deep in shit. I had broken all of my rules with Gabriel and I was going to have to pay for it.
I approached the bed and grabbed the blanket he was laying on and gently pulled it up to cover him. He let loose another small sigh and I gazed down at him as my breath hitched in my throat. I had to let him go while I still could.
Once he discovered the secrets of my past, he would just leave me anyway. It was understandable. No man in his right mind would want someone as fucked up as me.
Standing by his sleeping form, I lowered my hand and softly brushed my hand down his angelic face. He leaned into my touch and I felt something break in my chest.
Fuck.
I needed to get out of there…
Turning around, I hastily left his room and grabbed my keys from the kitchen table on my way out the door.
***
Monday morning, eight o’clock sharp, I walked into Dr. Robert Chase’s office. I was in a foul mood and the good old psychologist could sense it.
“Want to tell me what’s on your mind, Michael?” He pushed his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose as he shifted around in his seat and clicked open a pen.
“Doesn’t really matter what the hell I want. You’re just going to keep pressing until I cave anyway.” I sat in the seat across from him and eyed him with an uninterested expression.
“You’ve been coming to me for a few years. You know I’d never pressure you to talk until you are ready.” He tapped his pen against his clipboard as he waited for me to respond.
I didn’t. I just continued to stare at him with bored eyes and then I shifted my gaze to my lap where my hands were folded. The sound of the clock ticking was the only noise in the room.
