Page 7 of Michael's Awakening
“Work is going great. I know the football thing didn’t work out for me like I wanted it to, but working with people who need help and knowing I’m making a difference in their lives is a great feeling, Gabe. And the personal training is goin’ good, too, you know? I love helping people. I had one dude come to me who was about seventy pounds overweight and I helped him lose all of it, plus helped him build some muscle. He told me that I changed his life… and saved it.”
I could see the excitement in his eyes as he told me about his job and it made me happy to know he was doing something that he loved. Life was just too short to spend it being miserable.
“You ready for the show tonight?”
His voice pulled me out of my thoughts and my stomach instantly did flips at the mention of my performance.
“Uh, yeah. I’m totally ready.” I traced the rim of my coffee cup with the pad of my thumb as I bit the inside of my cheek.
“Liar,” Zack said and grabbed another donut. “Look, Gabe. I know how nervous you are. You’ve never had an audience bigger than just me, Dad, and Mom before. That’s another reason why I stopped by this morning. You need to chill the hell out. You’ll be great.” I looked up at him, feeling a wave of emotion smack me in the heart. His expression was one of concern and love, and then he smiled and continued, “Why don’t we put onSex and the City? That might help ease you up some.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he had remembered that’s my favorite TV show. It didn’t matter that I had watched all six seasons and both movies countless times, I’d never get sick of it. Ever. Those four women were downright fabulous and we were all best friends– in my head anyway.
Out of the four, I was most like Carrie. My love for fashion and shoes were spot-on. The only difference was, well... I was a man. I had figured it out in my head that my friend Melissa was the most like Miranda. She refused to comment on my keen observation, though.
“You actually want to sit throughSex and the City? Are you sure thatyouaren’t the gay brother?” I laughed as an odd expression crossed his face and he playfully punched me on the shoulder before walking over to my TV.
We started with the first season and by the time the second episode started, Zack was already snoring on the couch beside me. I shook my head and continued watching.
Even though I hadn’t told him, I was thrilled that Zack had wanted to spend the day with me. It was unexpected and exactly what I had needed. It also worked out perfectly that my work had given me the whole day off to prepare and relax. My manager was awesome. I gradually started to get my nerves in check and excitement began to swirl in the pit of my stomach.
A few hours, and many episodes later, it was show time.
***
I stood backstage, bouncing up and down on my heels to try and shake off the nerves. My friend Chris was on stage right now, playing a popular piece by Beethoven on the piano, and he was definitely kicking some ass. The way his hands moved across the keys made it sound as if more than one pair of hands was playing. The melody was bright and whimsical and… what was I saying?
Come on, Gabe. You can do this. Focus.I told myself.
Zack had dropped me off here about an hour and a half ago, giving me some time to practice before the show. I had told him I didn’t mind driving myself, but he had obviously tuned me out. After dropping me off at the auditorium, Zack had gone to pick up our dad, and now they were both sitting in the audience, waiting for my turn to perform. My stomach did little flips knowing that they were there.
“Gabriel, you’re up next,” The music director said to me as he peeked his head around the corner with a headset on.
I nodded and grabbed my cello, trying to visualize the notes in my mind. Something weird about me was that I didn’t like using sheet music during the performance. I used it long enough to learn the song and then I didn’t use it again after that. For one reason, it made it difficult to really feel the music if I was staring at a piece of paper the entire time. For another reason, it just feltrightto not use sheet music. More free.
Whenever I played, I felt like my mother was still with me, still smiling at me with that same adoring look on her beautiful face. Sometimes I swear I could even hear her voice humming along to the tune I was playing. The cello I used now was hers. After her death, Dad said he knew she would’ve loved for me to have it, since it was a passion we had shared. I felt close to her again when I played, remembering how she taught me how to play from the heart.
I only hoped that if she could see me now that she’d be proud of the man I’ve become.
Hearing the crowd applaud, I knew Chris was finished and it was my turn. Chris came walking backstage with a bright smile lighting his freckled face.
“Good job!” I patted him on the back.
He thanked me and wished me luck.
I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.This is for you, Mom.
Opening my eyes, I gripped my cello and walked out onstage.
