Page 52 of A Gift of Time
After picking myself up from the floor, I had thrown on a pair of sweats, a long-sleeved shirt, and a jacket before going outside on my balcony.
Snow fell in large flakes, dancing in the sky before it reached the ground below.
The image of Caden with his arms outstretched, looking up at the night sky as snow fell around him flashed in my head, and I held onto the railing, needing the support.
“It’s perfect,” he said, closing his eyes. “It’s snowing.”
Some flakes fell into his hair and the ones that landed on his rosy cheeks melted right away.
He had looked so beautiful that night, dancing in the snow. If only I would’ve known then what I knew now. I would’ve treasured it more—cherished every moment with him.
Tears streamed down my face and I looked at the giant clock on the church straight ahead, one counting down the time until Christmas.
Ten minutes until my deadline.
“Every snowflake is unique, you know,” Caden said, holding out his hand to catch one. “Beautiful, yet fragile. They say if you catch one in the palm of your hand, and can make a wish before it melts, that wish will come true.”
My heart was breaking, and it was difficult to breathe. All of my memories of him would be gone in only a matter of minutes.
If he called me tomorrow, wanting to work things out between us, I wouldn’t feel the same as I did now.
What if I didn’t want him anymore? He’d believe he was right about me being like all the others, and I’d just be another name added to the list of men who’d hurt him.
The sadness in his eyes before he’d left haunted me.
Neither of us was better off in this life. I might have an amazing job, but I didn’t have him. I didn’t have love. And he had trust issues, something he’d never had. How could I have known that one stupid wish would alter so much?
A wish.
I focused on the snow, and Caden’s words echoed back to me. He’d made up the myth about snow granting wishes, but what could it hurt?
“I wish I’d never made the first wish,” I said as I caught a snowflake on my finger.
It melted right as it landed.
After speaking, I looked around with a hopeful expression, waiting to be pulled out of this reality and go back home. It didn’t happen.
“I wish I was back in my old life,” I said a little louder, tilting my head to stare above me. Snow fell on my face, melting just as it touched my skin. When nothing happened, more tears sprang to my eyes. “I wish I was home with Caden.”
Leaning on the railing, I lowered my head and cried.
“I want my old life back! My old, shitty car that breaks down sometimes, mine and Cay’s house that creaks and might not be that big, but it’s ours. But most of all, I just want my Caden—to fall asleep beside him every night and wake up to him every morning.”
Glancing back up, I saw the town come alive around me.
Even though it was late, lights reflected through the windows in the building in front of mine. Probably kids staying awake as long as possible to try to get a peek at Santa. Christmas lights twinkled from the park, where even at my distance, I could still see the large decorated tree and the bright, blinking star on top.
Another look at the clock on the church, and I saw it was eleven fifty. Only five minutes before my world changed forever.
Taking my phone from my pocket, I scrolled through my contacts until I found Caden. A gut feeling told me he wouldn’t answer, but I called anyway.
After a handful of rings, it went to his voicemail.
“Hey, Cay,” I said after the beep. “We left things really weird between us tonight. I know you need time to think, and I understand that. When you talk to me again, I might not be the Jack you remember.” My throat tightened and a small whine escaped my lips. “I love you so much, baby. Never forget that. Be patient with me if you ever see me again. Please don’t give up on me. Fuck, Cay… I love you more than anything.”
Before I broke down, I hung up and put the phone in my jacket pocket.
The snow fell faster, adding to the layers already sticking to the grass and atop the buildings. I exhaled, watching my breath fan out in front of me.
That’s when a large snowflake landed on my arm.
I smiled as more tears fell from my eyes. Caden would love it. I could see how his face would light up as he saw it, and that bashful grin would curve his mouth. He’d probably say something about it being magical.
“I just wish Caden was happy,” I whispered, staring at the snowflake. I might have to be miserable in this life, but I needed him to find happiness. Somehow. “That’s all I want. He deserves the world, and if I can’t give it to him, I want him to find someone you can.”
The clock hit five ‘til midnight, and I closed my eyes, feeling the tears running down my cheeks turn cold as the winter air hit them.
“I love you, Cay,” I whispered. “Always.”
