Page 35 of Reaching Avery
“William!” Mom chastised him.
And yeah, I know. My dad’s name was William Blake, like the poet. But the same name was as far as the comparison went.
“Dad, I know you don’t realize it, but you sound like a freaking homophobe right now,” I pointed out. “I don’tsayI’m gay. Iamgay. I’m sorry that’s disappointing to you, but it’s who I am. Playing sports isn’t going to change it either.”
He exhaled and set his cup down on the counter. His short sandy-brown hair lay flat, apart from one area near his ear that jutted out a bit. He must’ve just gotten off work by how tired his eyes looked, which also explained why he was drinking coffee at nearly five in the afternoon.
“I’m sorry, Mav,” Dad said in a weary tone. “You know I support you with the gay thing. And you’re aware of my college days when I—”
“You don’t have to mention it again,” I interrupted.
He pressed his lips into a line before saying, “I just don’t see why you have to blow off playing football so that you can sing and dance in theater. I thought you being in it last year was just a one-time thing.”
“I enjoy it,” I told him, seeing his expression change from slight irritation to confusion. “I’m still playing baseball in the spring, so I haven’t just given up on sports. But even if I had, that’smydecision. I love you, Dad, but you gotta let me live my life.”
I didn’t comment on hisgay thingremark, because I knew there was no changing his mind. He believed it to be a phase and refused to listen to reason on the matter.
Impasse, remember?
Dad came over and pulled me into his arms. “I love you, kid. Whether you date guys or girls, it doesn’t matter. I’ll support you and that love will never change. I’m just tired and my words came out wrong today.”
I returned his embrace, feeling like I was five again by how much his hug meant. He rarely hugged me, so it was a big thing. He wasn’t a touchy-feely type of guy.
“I understand,” I said as we pulled apart, forcing back the tears threatening to fall. “I’m, uh, gonna go to my room.”
Mom said dinner would be ready in about thirty minutes, and I nodded before going up the stairs. In my room, I tossed my books on the desk before collapsing on the bed and putting an arm over my eyes. Not sure if I was just blocking out the light, or more so, trying to block out everything, but I stayed that way, unmoving.
Avery and I had talked a bit more that week.
On Tuesday, I’d stood by his desk before history and we’d made small talk. Then before biology started, I’d done the same thing. He seemed to be relaxing more around me at school, which I took as a good sign.
When it was just me and him, he seemed comfortable enough, but at school, he always looked as if he expected someone to hurt him. That was slowly changing the more I approached him. We might not have said anything too deep, but casual talking could bring friends closer too, and I considered him a friend.
Wednesday, I’d asked him and Ben to sit with me at lunch. They stayed there for a few minutes, but when Travis and the other guys plopped down at the same table, Avery’s posture changed and before I could say anything, he grabbed his tray and went back to his usual spot in the cafeteria. Ben had followed him, and that’d been the end of that.
Even if we’d never be anything more than friends, I still wanted to be around him. Avery looked at me differently than others did, as if he saw the jock, but also the inner science and drama nerd too. He didn’t judge me.
My phone dinged, and I jolted at the sound. My movements were sluggish, and I realized I’d become so lost in my thoughts that I’d been falling asleep. I blinked a few times to help clear my hazy vision. Before I checked the text, I looked at the time, seeing only fifteen or so minutes had passed.
Sarah:Hey, Mavy. U okay????
Me:Yeah. Why?
The dots moved on the screen as she typed her response, then they stopped for a bit before picking back up again. She was either texting back a massive reply or she was unsure of what to say.
Sarah:I take it u haven’t been on Insta yet?
I had almost all of the social media apps, but I wasn’t obsessed with them like some people. Instagram was one I checked maybe once every other day.
Me:No…. why? Did you take more pics of your Hello Kitty keychain and post them everywhere?
I’d gotten her the keychain a few months ago, and she liked to place it in random places when she went out, take pictures of it, and post all over social media.
Sarah:HAHA no. But really, Mavy. It’s bad. If u need me 2 come over b4 u look, I will. Just let me know.
A sinking sensation started in my stomach.
Me:Going to look now. I’ll text you after.
