Page 69 of Reaching Avery
I never told her to ‘have a good night’ because that was like telling a mouse going into a nest of snakes to ‘have fun.’
Before I walked out with Mav, I glanced at my brother, and he smiled. A sly smile, but one nonetheless. I already knew he’d grill me later about how thedatewent.
***
Once I’d gotten into Mav’s car, my nervousness had slipped away. He was still the same guy. Putting a label on what we were doing—or leaving off that label—didn’t change that fact.
For dinner, he took me to some Chinese restaurant in the nicer part of town, and before we’d even gone inside, I felt inadequate. I could never afford to eat at a place like that, and it didn’t make me feel any better when he said he was paying.
I hated feeling like a freeloader.
“Too much?” Mav asked after we’d been seated at a table in the corner of the restaurant. He moved his gaze throughout the area before looking at me again.
I shrugged. “It’s nice.”
“But?”
“There’s no but,” I said, tensing my shoulders and looking down at the table. There was an ornate scene of cherry blossoms and Chinese writing on the surface, and it was covered with glass. Yep. Super fancy. “Mav… can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” he said and then waited.
Right as I was about to respond, the waitress came to our table and took our drink orders.
“What was it you wanted to know?” Maverick asked once she’d left.
“Let’s get our food first,” I said, too anxious to ask the question that’d been eating at my brain all afternoon.
Apparently, the restaurant was an all-you-can-eat buffet, so we didn’t have to order off a menu. We stood and went to the buffet line, and even though it was quiet between us, I still kept close to his side. Once we’d grabbed our plates and were moving down the line, Maverick looked back at me with an adorable grin.
“Just pile your plate with whatever you want,” he said before scooping what looked like broccoli and some kind of meat onto his plate.
“I don’t know what’s good,” I admitted as I looked at all the food, not knowing where to start.
That confession started a huge conversation. Mav told me all about the dishes he loved as we passed them, and I ended up just getting whatever he put on his plate. When I didn’t think my plate could hold anything else, Maverick picked up a biscuit that was covered in sugar, and he placed it on the top of my food pile.
“There. Perfect.” He winked before turning on his heels and going back to our table.
I followed, accidentally looking at his ass. Well,accidentally, as in definitely on purpose, but not my fault. An oxymoron at its finest.
Over dinner, we talked a lot. During the past few weeks, we’d come to know each other a lot better, and we’d hung out together every day at school, but it’d still felt like there was some kind of wall keeping me from him. Or more like him from me.
But that night, I relaxed and answered his questions. Good thing he didn’t ask too in-depth ones. He kept it pretty simple, focusing more on me as a person and what I was into.
“What do you wanna do after graduation?” he asked after eating another piece of General Tso’s chicken. “Are you going to college?”
“I’d like to,” I answered as a knot formed in the pit of my stomach. “But I don’t know if it’s in the cards for me.”
“Why not? Your grades are awesome and you’re one of the rare few people who actually enjoy school. What’s holding you back?”
Being poor. Beings seen as a delinquent just because of how I dress and express myself. Being judged for a life that I had no part in making. I was born into an abusive childhood that’s left emotional and physical scars. One that’s screwed me up in the head.
I make myself bleed so I can feel something other than the sick, twisted parasites that creep under my skin and travel through my bloodstream. The cutting releases them. And there are times when I feel so dissociated from life that I have to cut to make sure I’m still here—to bring me back to myself.
I didn’t say any of that. I just held his gaze before looking away. “You wouldn’t understand, Mav.”
Hecouldn’tunderstand. Not really. He didn’t have to want for anything in his life. Everything came easy for him. Friends, charm, money. No, I wasn’t mad at him for that. It was just the way it was.
He couldn’t control it any more than I could.
