Page 62 of Until Next Time
“I’ve had plenty of those.” He sighs.
“But, life’s a gift. I’ve learned that spending it in regret is a waste. But there is one thing I wish I could change and you know what it is?”
“What is it?” I ask.
“When I met your mom, I fell in love with her almost immediately. Everything about her I was drawn to. It was one of those moments where I just knew. I knew she was the one I wanted next to me for however long we were given. Whether it was a month, or 70 years. But I didn’t feel worthy. I felt like a pauper and she was this princess. I let so much time go by before I told her how I felt. I watched her date other guys, I watched her live her beautiful life without me in it. And I wish I would have made her mine sooner.”
I rub my eyes with my thumb and my middle finger. My dad picks up his glass of bourbon and takes a sip.
“Don’t make the same mistake I did, son.”
I nod at him, and we both reach for our glasses and sip in the shared solitude.
I’ve been carrying this around all this time, and tonight I set it down.
* * *
I ended up staying to watch the rest of Top Gun with my dad and now it’s midnight. Officially Christmas Eve and it’s freaking cold as I make my way back to my truck. I feel like I’m having an emotional hangover. I haven’t cried like that since—well, ever.
I hop in my truck, turn the key and crank the heat dial all the way. It’s going to take awhile for it to warm up so I rub my hands together to create some body heat. There was a light dusting of snow coming down, and the way the street looked so quiet, only lit by the Christmas lights on the neighboring houses. It was the first time I felt any semblance of peace since my mom passed.
I grab my phone and pull open my text messages and start thumbing across the screen.
Me: Are you awake?
I set my phone face down on the seat, willing myself not to look at it and it vibrates almost immediately. I turn it over in a split second and see her name.
Birdie: Why?
I smile.
I throw my car into drive and head towards Birdie’s house, which thankfully less than a mile away.
Me: Can you come outside?
Birdie: It’s midnight. What do you want?
Me: Please just come outside. I’m on your porch.
A few minutes later, her front door clicks open and Birdie comes out wrapped tightly in a fuzzy leopard print robe, and slippers with big smiley faces on them. Her arms are crossed and there’s an annoyed scowl on her face.
“What do you want?”
“I want to take you on a date.” I say, smiling, and stuffing my hands into the pockets in my jacket.
She’s staring at me. Like she’s confused. Like she doesn’t know what to make of this and I honestly don’t blame her, all things considering.
“I’m sorry it’s late. I just didn’t want to waste another minute. Can I take you out for breakfast in the morning?”
“Dawsen, what is going on right now?”
“You told me to let you know when I’ve figured this out.”
“I told you that like five hours ago.” She says, softening.
“Yeah, you did. And I got on it right away.” I say, smiling because I can’t help it now.
“It’s snowing.” She says, her eyes wandering to the white flakes softly cascading from the sky.
