Page 51 of Trust No Alpha
Suddenly, I was as scared as I was suffering. Embarrassed. And so lost.
Thorne smelled like pure Alpha as he strode into the room, woodsy and leather-spiced and fiery. I breathed him in deep and my body responded.
I’d been taught I would want the sweetness of the Omegas, that their fragrance would heighten the Burn which in turn would make them respond by wanting me, by bending over for me with their bottoms already slick from their natural inner lubrication.
But Thorne’s scent filled me up and drew out my hunger. I’d never known an Omega, but I knew him, and I was attracted to him. Was this even natural?
And worse, what if Thorne saw me as a mutation, something to be pitied more than anything else, someone who was a burden on society rather than deserving of love? That would mean he was helping me because he felt obligated and nothing more.
I hated that thought, especially since he was so caring, even tender toward me. But that made me even more fearful of becoming such a disappointment to him.
I startled back on the bed, my hands gripping the sheets, my knees bending, feet flailing against the side of the bed. I was naked and exposed. My cock throbbed at the exposure and my more polite self scrambled about to try to cover myself. But the blankets were gone, half-fallen off the foot of the bed.
Thorne’s figure rushed toward me and I cowered back.
“Kris,” he said. His voice washed over me like a caress.
My mind whirled. What would he do? I couldn’t help but see Father coming at me and remember the panic of that, and what I’d had to do to him to protect myself.
Thorne had been warm and open and generous. I never wanted to hurt him.
“No.” My voice squeezed from my throat. “I didn’t mean for this. I’m so-sorry!”
How pathetic I sounded. Alpha training forgotten. Desperation driving me. The pull of disorder and lack of control.
“Kris, it’s okay. It’s a natural occurrence. All Alphas go through it.”
His voice rang like bells in my ears.All Alphas…But I wasn’t an Alpha. Not entirely.
Thorne reached out to touch my shoulder and I pulled back.
“Okay,” he said calmly. “I won’t touch you.”
But I wanted his touch. Badly.
As if reading my mind, he asked, “What do you want? Can you sit up for a second? Can you focus?”
Again I tried to hide myself. I scooted my butt across the mattress but fell back, the sensations in my body sending me spinning.
“I can call a service. Have a ready Omega delivered.”
It sounded all wrong to my brain. An Omega ready for me? But I was an Omega. Technically. I had seen how Father wanted me without a care to my own horrified feelings, and how Mathias treated me. I would be no better if I took an Omega now.
“It’s what’s done. It’s not shameful,” said Thorne.
Then why I was ashamed? Slowly, I shook my head. My right hand covered my crotch, but even the touch of my own palm was nearly unbearable, enflaming my flesh, making my cock jerk. I was terrified of coming right in front of Thorne. It seemed so horrible that it might happen, and my body flushed even more all over because another part of me wanted him to watch me, to see me.
He’d protected me so far from all I had feared, making sure I was safe. I knew his hands would be cool, and his touches encouraging, like the way he cared for his gardens, how he made one for each season and made sure they thrived.
He honored life. But what if I disgusted him?
I turned my head away from him.
“Kris, focus.”
“I don’t want an Omega. I can’t! I just can’t!”
“I’m sure you’ve been taught to prepare for this. You can opt to take care of yourself, as I do, but it is a more difficult road.”
