Page 17 of Omega Island
I searched through the bedroom dresser and found, among colorful kimonos and sarongs, a pair of beautiful flower-patterned shorts which would do well for swimming. I put them on and they fit perfectly. Over them, I tied a large purple sarong with fringe.
I walked past the community pool, the water ice blue in the streaming light, and watched the swimmers. Two were doing laps. Two others sat at the shallow end steps, heads bent, voices a low hum on the buzzing air. Another two sat at one side with their feet dangling in the water. More people lay on fluffy lounge chairs sipping colorful drinks and talking.
I didn’t feel too comfortable around that many people yet. Dinner last night had taken all my effort, so I looked to see if a private pool might be available.
There were dozens of fenced and gated pools, and I saw by the little screens on each gate that there were schedules of times that flashed “open” or “closed.” It was a rule that if a gate was closed, you had to ring before entering. If it was locked, which showed by a red X on the screen, that was the same as a “do not disturb” sign.
I found one gate unlocked but closed and raised my hand to ring the bell when I realized it wasn’t quite shut all the way. There was an inch wide opening and before I knew what I was doing, I’d bent my head toward it to peek inside.
A beautiful man with a sleek build and dark hair was swimming fast through the water, somersaulting under when he got to the edge and coming up for another lap without any hesitation. He made a wake of white waves, his strong arms cutting flawlessly through the surface. His face turned up for air after every two strokes, giving him more speed. When he got closer to me, I realized I was looking at a familiar face. My dinner partner from last night.
Senta.
Just as I started to turn away, he pulled himself up from the water onto the pool’s edge, liquid pouring over his dark muscles, and called out. “Come in if you like. The gate is not locked.”
I wanted to scurry away unnoticed. But more, I wanted to open that gate. I hadn’t come here to run away. I’d come here to re-connect with myself. To open to the world again.
I reached up and touched the wood, the hinges giving a tiny whine as the gate swung.
Senta smiled at me. “Raimi?”
I stepped across the threshold and pulled the gate shut behind me. I stood with my arms across my chest surveying the area. The pool was L-shaped with the smaller section leading to shallow end steps. Along the private fence line were three pink and blue umbrellas over lounge chairs and one round table. Beside that table sat a short white fridge.
“There’s drinks in there if you want one. Soda. Water.” Senta gestured toward the fridge.
I didn’t move. By my feet were little puddles of water forming from Senta’s emergence from the pool.
“The water feels good. Come on in,” Senta said.
Why not? There was nothing harmful here.
“Thank you.” I stepped forward.
Suddenly, Straten’s voice was in my head arguing straight to my fears.You aren’t that great of a swimmer. You should have more lessons before you jump into nine feet of water.If he’d been here, he would have made me sit in the hot sun and watch him swim until he was done. I’d never get a chance to feel the water myself.
I shook the old toxic voice away and took a step forward. My sarong was wrapped low on my waist, leaving my chest bare. I gripped my arms around myself like I had something to hide. I didn’t. Senta knew why I was here. And he had invited me to swim.
Slowly, I undid the knot and the sarong loosened, flowing behind me in a lazy breeze. I walked to one of the lounge chairs and draped it across the back.
Now I wore only the flowered shorts. I felt all too naked but also relieved. It wasn’t so bad. I could swim and cool off and know everything would be okay.
I lowered myself to the pool’s edge near Senta, dangling my feet in the water. It was far warmer than I thought it would be and I let myself slide in. I moved slowly at first, my head out of the water, my hair still dry. But finally, I relaxed and remembered the crawl strokes I’d learned at a kid. I hadn’t been swimming in years, but I hadn’t forgotten how. My fears were exaggerated. I didn’t need lessons. I wasn’t weak.
I let my head go under the gentle swells as I cut through the surface faster and faster. I loved the water. How had I forgotten that?
As I swam, my head cleared. Suddenly I was back in time remembering summer days in childhood with my brother at the lake. Playfulness. Freedom. Good times. I’d been fearless as a kid. And as a young adult, I had never shied away from experimenting with everything from hobbies to work to sex.
I swam harder. I saw my life like an incomplete map. I’d never stayed in any one place for long. I’d never held a job more than two years. It had taken me extra years to finish college. When I met Straten, I was taken in by his charisma and the adventure he offered. He was clever and swayed me to believe what he wanted was what I wanted.
My map ran all over the page in every direction. Half of it was blank. I told Hondo I was impulsive. He told me that wasn’t a bad thing as long as I was aware of it. I would make better choices if I reminded myself I tended to jump before thinking.
The water was soothing, but I still felt myself working up a sweat. I stopped at the wall by the deep end, reaching for the tiled rim of the pool. For a moment I was blinded by the fall of water. I pushed my hair back from my face and looked up to see Senta sitting on the edge, his feet in the water.
Senta wore thick, black trunks that hugged his thighs where the muscles moved beneath his damp skin as he swung his legs back and forth.
I forced myself to raise my gaze to his face. “I haven’t been swimming in a long time. Thought I might have forgotten how.”
“Your body remembers for you,” he replied.
