Page 80 of Shining Knight
“Are you to dress for the assembly soon?” he asked, taking out his pocket watch and looking at it.
“What assembly?”
“The one in the village. The one we attend every year.”
“Oh.” He meant the one where he had first danced with Emma a couple of years ago and fallen in love. Actually, that had been the first time she had seen Graham again after he had returned from Vienna. What a silly chit she had been then. It felt like a lifetime ago. Had she known then what she knew now, perhaps she could have done better. Everyone had tried to tell her, but she had been so fresh and excited, convinced that the world was hers to conquer, that she had not understood the ton’s expectations of a duke’s daughter.
She fully understood them now, she thought bitterly, yet she still did not wish to be that person.
Rowley was watching her carefully. “Come, it will help you forget your woes. The villagers look up to you, yet they know you well.”
“You mean they know I am a hoyden,” she retorted.
Rowley smiled one of his rare, precious smiles. “Perhaps rather a partially polished gem. You are certainly not the wild hoyden you were two years ago.”
“Thank you, I think,” she replied warily.
“It is a compliment, Genie. But do not become too polished. I like you the way you are, even if it does not always seem so.”
She felt her throat go thick with unshed tears. It was true that she had never felt she was meeting his expectations.
“I will support you, whatever you decide, but I have only wanted what I thought best for you. I think it is more difficult to be a spinster within the confines of Society, but if anyone can do it, you can.”
She bit her lip and went into his open arms.
What she should do, she did not know, because being a spinster had little appeal next to being Mrs. Tinsley… but when you loved someone, you did what was best for them. “How will I know the right course to take?”
“Try to listen to your heart. That sounds trite, especially from me, but there is truth in it.”
“In all honesty, I am weary of my heart and my thoughts. I have been riding a great deal, hoping to experience an epiphany—that some great revelation will happen and I will have the answer.”
He barked a laugh. “If only it were that simple. My last piece of advice is to throw pride out of the window when it comes to your feelings for Graham. I would not normally advise such a lack of caution with respect to the Knight name, but I believe matters lie differently between the two of you.”
“I think that is what makes this so difficult.”
“I understand. And Genie, for what it is worth, I am sorry.”
He kissed her on the forehead and quietly left the room, leaving her more confused than she had been before.
“How am I to know what to do?” she whispered as she bent down to pick up the pieces of shattered glass. The fate of the cut-glass vase seemed an excellent analogy to the way her insides felt at the moment. Now she had to dress for the local assembly and paste a smile on her face as though she had not a care in the world. How she had pestered Rowley to let her go to that same assembly two years ago, and then she had almost ruined herself at her first proper party! Was there ever such a cruel teacher as naivete?
She finished cleaning up the disorder she had created and took the flowers to one of the maids to arrange instead before going to her chambers to dress for the evening. At least here she could wear one of her favorite gowns again without censure!
*
Graham would havebeen pleased to attend the assembly that night knowing he would have a chance to see Eugenia. However, he felt as though he were going to a boxing match without knowing who his opponent would be.
He decided to go anyway, wondering if he might have an opportunity to dance with her even if she did not wish to speak with him. Any contact with her was better than none.
By the time he arrived, the village assembly rooms were crowded. He had been in London so long he had forgotten that country folk did not play such games as timing their arrival for a grand entrance or being fashionably late.
Despite the number of bodies in the room, he found her instantly. She was wearing a bright jonquil gown which reminded him of one of her riding habits—the one that made her look like sunshine. The color suited her perfectly. She was smiling up at her dance partner, a soldier who, Graham surmised, must be home on leave. He had heard that the Allied Army had crossed into France at last. Very likely there would be more soldiers arriving home for Christmas as well. Graham found he was happy for England, but he was also perfectly happy to strangle the captain who was looking at Eugenia as though she were a tasty dessert.
“I was wondering when you would arrive,” Knighton said, sneaking up beside him—if one could do such a thing at a crowded dance.
Graham knew a moment ofdéjà vufrom when he had first returned from his diplomatic post and had seen Eugenia again, no longer a girl.
“I lost track of time while visiting with Father,” he remarked, not removing his eyes from Eugenia.
