Page 30 of Forever & Again
Oliver cleared his throat, in an attempt to shift his tone back towards ease, “He was a horrible teacher…”
Grace caught his eyes in hers, no longer willing to let him hide. “What was your plan in all of this?”
His hands fidgeted in his lap, his breathing quickening under her scrutiny, but he did not look away. His face softened, and the boldness she had felt just a moment before melted away.
“Are you aware of how often you spoke of Benjamin this past week?” He asked.
Grace did not answer—not because she didn’t want to, but because she couldn’t. She had once spoken of Benjamin so rarely, the pain so sharp, that she could recall every instance his name was uttered. But now her mind was crowded with moments shared with Oliver, Sarah and Matthew, where Benjamin’s name slipped easily from their lips amidst laughter and gentle jests.
“Grace, I do not care if you find me insufferable.” Oliver paused, his gaze searching her face. “Actually, that is not true,” he admitted, his voice dropping. “I desperately want you to like me.” His eyes held hers, and for a moment Grace forgot how to breathe.
“Which is truly puzzling considering you drive me utterly mad…”
“I driveyoumad?” Grace nearly shouted in indignation. Yet the softness in his gaze, coupled with the gentle warmth of his laughter, sent her stomach into knots. She truly was the one who was mad, if this was the effect he could have on her.
“I did not force you to spend time with me in an attempt to win you over.” He explained.
Grace tilted her chin, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of seeing how he was beginning to disarm her. “So it was torture, then?”
Oliver’s mouth twitched with a smile, but he remained composed. “Not at all.” The playfulness in her chest faltered when she saw the sincerity in his eyes. “I only wanted you to see that memories of Benjamin do not always have to proceed pain. Sometimes they can bring joy—or they can simply exist. You will carry him with you always, but there is still room for new memories without erasing the old.”
Grace let his words press hard against the fragile walls she had worked so hard to build. “You are much more complicated than people give you credit for, Lord Blackburn.”
“Please do not tell anyone.” Oliver leaned back, breaking the intensity with a smile. “It would be disastrous for my reputation.”
Grace wondered how he made it seem so effortless —shifting from sincerity to jest, loosening the knot in her chest with nothing more than a crooked grin. That was precisely what made him so dangerous.
Every moment she spent with him chipped away at her resolve, leaving her far too aware of how perilously close she stood to feeling something again.
And as if falling in love weren’t treacherous enough, the man beside her was the last person she had ever imagined trusting with her heart.
Chapter Fourteen
The smell of roasted meats, sweet pastry, and fresh garden roses lingered in the breakfast room as Grace stepped through the doorway, her slippers whispering against the tile. Sarah was already seated, a small frown creasing her brow as she read a note brought in by the footman. Beside her, Matthew stirred his tea, shirtsleeves rolled up in a rare ease.
Oliver’s eyes found hers the moment she entered, as though he had been waiting for her. His easy smile—somewhere between charming and impossible—knocked her slightly off balance, but she managed a smile in return.
“Lady Rockwell,” he said brightly. “You’ve arrived just in time to settle a debate. Is it acceptable to serve partridge twice in one week?”
Grace arched a brow as she took her seat. “I daresay the partridge is more exhausted by the experience than we are.”
Matthew and Oliver both burst into laughter, but Grace’s attention was fixed on Sarah. She looked up slowly from her plate, her eyes meeting Grace’s with hesitation. Matthew cleared his throat, pushing back from the table. “Oliver, would you care to join me for a ride?”
Oliver glanced toward the window. “It is raining.” His tone hovered between confusion and protest, but Matthew’s pointed stare left no room for argument.
“Which is…,” Oliver fumbled over his own words, “...the perfect weather for a summer ride. We shall not overheat.”
Oliver hesitated for a moment, offering Grace an encouraging smile, before begrudgingly following Matthew from the room.
“Grace…” Sarah’s voice was hesitant and fragile, as if one wrong word might send Grace retreating again.
“Please do not apologize.”
“I’m not,” Sarah said quickly, then drew a slow breath. “I am sorry if I have made things harder for you, but I will not apologize for wanting you here. You were my friend before you loved Benjamin, and it may be selfish of me, but I do not want to lose you. Not now when I need you most.”
Grace’s throat tightened. “You will not lose me. Not entirely.” Her voice wavered, but she pressed on. “I need you to be patient with me while I figure out who I am without him.”
Sarah’s eyes softened. She reached across the table, her hand brushing Grace’s fingers. “I can do that. Just promise me that you will still be my friend.”
