Page 189 of Cross the Line
“What are we watching?” She asks, tracing the Comets’ logo on my dry-fit shirt. Delicate fingertips trail each line over my chest while I flick through the TV apps.
“We can carry on bingingStranger Things.”
We’re slowly getting through my list of must-watch shows. Although she enjoyed the lighter comedies, Finley really gets into the supernatural, fantasy ones with all the jumpy scenes and tense moments that leave her on the edge of her seat—body coiled tight, eyes wide on the screen.
I had to educate Eli, too, but he’s more into true crime. Not something I’m into. I like my dark to be fictional and out of this world enough that I won’t go to bed thinking about how messed up the human race is.
“Yes,Stranger Things,” Fin sing-songs, her excitement palpable. “I’m still not over the way Billy was sacrificed. He was just coming into himself and there was so much potential…”
“Guy was a jackass; the only good thing he did was break free of the Mind Flayer.”
“Which saved Eleven,” she retorts with an all-too-righteous scrunch of her nose.
“Agree to disagree…” With a quick smooch to her nose, I put on the next episode and pause it while we wait for Eli to finish in the kitchen.
“Do you think he’s okay?” Finley whispers, looking past me to our man in the background. “He seemed a bit distracted after we left Summer and Parker.”
I lock my eyes on the chain around her neck, too afraid that if our stares meet, she’ll see everything I know. Everything she doesn’t.
“Our hands are kind of tied right now.” I settle for the easiest reply.
“But we know it’s him…Ryker.” The name is a wretched growl.
“Yeah, we know it.” I have to swallow down the acrid diatribe that threatens to spill from my lips so I don’t say something that will fuck us up.
“Why? I keep thinking it over, and I can’t understand why he’s doing all this. Why give that story to the press? Why give my number out? What does he want, JJ? What’s the end goal here? Because he’s not gaining anything. He’s not even hurting us, it’s all just unnecessary grief…”
Ice glints in her perplexed expression. Truth is, I don’t know the answers to any of her questions; all I know is that the hurting part isn’t true.
Ryker Hallman is intentionally hurting Eli. He’s hitting him in all his weak spots. The past, Finley, us…
“What do you know that I don’t, JJ?” Fin whispers, dipping her face closer to mine.
She’s searching, and I’m trying to bury everything I know. Desperately enough that it burns through my insides when I shrug, shaking my head so that I don’t have to verbally lie to her.
“I know he thinks I need protecting. That I’m not strong enough to?—”
“You are strong, Fin. Trust me, we know you’re resilient and…” I blow out a sigh.
“So what have I missed? What don’t I know that makes all of this make sense?” The pitch of her voice is stark, fueled by anger and frustration as she pushes off my lap and stands in front of me, hands on her hips, chest heaving.
“Don’t be annoying,” Eli says from behind me with a light slap to the back of my head.
He’s completely oblivious to the conversation Fin and I have fallen into, and I want to warn him.
Except, before I turn to give him a silent sign, a caution, Fin asks, “What don’t I know, Eli? What haven’t you told me?”
Silence. It’s loaded and cocked between us.
If the moment in my dad’s office was suffocating, there are no words for the slow death choking me limb by limb now.
Then his hand closes around my shoulder, and his thumb works gentle circles on my shoulder blade. I don’t know if he’s trying to soothe me or center himself. Regardless, I’m grateful for his touch.
For the physical warmth of our connection, as he asks me, “Can you give me a moment with our girl?”
“Eli…” I can’t leave him to do this on his own.
I need to be here for him, for Finley, for us.
