Page 188 of Cross the Line
Holding out his phone, he says, “I can give you my contact card so you can get in touch directly.”
I swear I die a little inside when Jayden taps their phones together and they swap numbers. When Eli does the same, I have to swallow down the lump of sickness that gurgles up my throat.
The PTSD is real as I focus on Blanca, pulling her lead from Eli’s back pocket and clipping it to her harness.
I make small talk with Summer as the guys head out and we lock up the office. While I set the alarm, she shuts off the lights by the door. It’s easier for me to navigate quickly around the desk than it is for her with her quickly growing belly.
“It’s all going to be over soon,” she tells me with a hug when I reach Jayden’s car. “Don’t let it get to you. Cowards who hide behind smoke and mirrors don’t get to win.”
“Thank you.” I hug her tighter, and when her belly squishes right into mine, I feel the weird and amazing flutter of her baby moving around.
It’s incredible, and perfect, and I want that. I want to feel mine, JJ’s, and Eli’s babies squirming around inside my belly. To pick names and jump around, excited to meet them.
But we can’t have that with this heavy cloud over us. So yeah, there’s no other option than to quash this storm.
CHAPTER 50
JAYDEN
It’s early evening when we arrive home from the pet and food stores. Eli is setting up a doggy corner for Bee where our Christmas tree was, while I sort through the groceries we bought. Finley is sorting through the laundry Eli and I attempted to sort into light and dark piles earlier.
“It would’ve been a travesty,” Eli finishes for her with a teasing chuckle. His arms lock around her waist, pulling her into him. “You realize that we have a housekeeper who does all of this, so you don’t have to.”
“I like doing it.” She rolls up on her tiptoes, giving him a quick peck while brushing the longer lengths of his hair to the side. When she’s satisfied that he’s all fixed up, she spins in his hold and bathes me with a heart-stopping, slow smile. “I like looking after you.”
That gooey look she’s giving me melts my insides, leaving me with a goofy smile of my own that matches Eli’s as he brings our girl toward me and perches her on the counter next to the pile of groceries I’ve kept out to make dinner. A yellow-pepper pasta I’m trying to adapt for Eli, using cashews and milk to make it creamy without the cheese.
“I don’t know how I feel about nutty peppers,” Finley says, picking up a slice of bell pepper that she follows with a cashew.
“You love creamy nuts, don’t you?” I tease.
“Christ, that’s the worst joke yet,” Eli snorts.
Hearing his laugh makes my heart so damn happy. After our conversation with Parker, he was halfway to that dark place that makes my chest hurt.
It’s becoming easier to recognize the rises and slumps of his mood, and with that ease, the suffocation of the downs grows tighter.
Dinner works out great. The pasta isn’t bad, and Eli wolfs his down faster than ever while Finley is making all these sexy-as-hell, yummy noises that distract me from the fact that I’m eating pasta without cheese. And that is sacrilege. As bad as coffee without caffeine.
“That was delicious,” Eli hums, sinking back into his seat with a slice of garlic-oil ciabatta he’s slathered in what was left of the sauce in his bowl.
I watch him suck his fingers clean when he’s done, before he wipes them on his napkin. Satisfaction warms through me at the sight of him kissing our girl’s temple.
Finley’s soul-beaming smile greets me. It’s the one that lights up my entire existence. I don’t care if this pasta is the only thing I ever eat again, so long as she keeps giving me that smile and we can have moments like this forever.
“Movie and cuddles?” Fin asks when we’re all done eating.
At some point in the next twenty-four hours, Eli and I are going to have to review the game tape Coach sent earlier. Before Finley, we’d sit on the couch and dissect it second by second, play by play.
Then, it was another way of being around him, and I’d make any and every excuse to watch the damn tape.
Now we’re here. Eli isn’t going anywhere, and we have Fin, too. The tape can wait till tomorrow night when she’s out for dinner with Christina and the girls.
When Finley starts stacking the dishes, Eli quickly takes over.
“You and JJ have done enough.” His bottomless stare finds mine with a tender grin. “My turn to bring something other than my good looks to this relationship while the two of you pick something to watch and warm up the couch.”
Sweeping our girl up over my shoulder, I take her to the couch and drop into it. Shifting Fin onto my lap, her legs straddling mine.
