Page 80 of The Princess of Nothing
I gave him a look.
“I do,” he stated, defending himself. “I can’t give you what you want, Winter. Even if I really want to. There is no denying what we have, but until the curse on the Objects of Kai are broken, you deserve to be loved wholly and you shouldn’t have to wait around for me. Who knows even if they can be or how long it will take? I apologize for being petty before. It’s hard for me to watch, I won’t lie, but I’m glad to have you in my life in any way, and I should have said that before.”
My eyebrow arched. “How mature of you.”
“I’m trying to be a better person.”
“How’s that going?”
He smirked. “Baby steps, Princess. Baby steps.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Morgana looked older. Deep lines reached around her eyes. I hadn’t properly spent time with her since she had arrived. Her lips curled at the corners. “You like him.”
“Cedric?” I questioned, then nodded. “I mean, yes, obviously.”
She shook her head. “No. Blaise.”
I picked at my cuticles. “He’s devastated me so many times and proven he’s incapable of anything deep. I mean, it is because he’s cursed to eternal loneliness by not being able to love fully, but that’s beside the point. He can’t give me what I want. He so much as told me, and also, he’s done good things.” I thought of the sweetness he’d shown recently, and my heart skipped a beat. “But also really bad things.”
“That’s not an answer,” she replied. “I remember you doing some pretty terrible things too. It’s called being human. Is he not deserving of forgiveness for them when you are?”
“I do forgive him. Look, it’s just... Cedric’s good for me.” I wrapped my arms around my stomach. My dark-purple dress hung around my feet. A darker shade of sheer net covered the fabric underneath. The glitter on the bottom shimmered when I walked. Dusts of snow covered the tips of my black boots. “I care for him.”
She shook her head slowly. “You cannot bury feelings. You must feel them, understand them, and reason with them. Before you can move on, you have to accept your truth. If you want to be with Cedric, then you must address what you have with Blaise.”
My chest felt heavy. “I’m happy with Cedric.”
She shot me an uncertain look. “I know you want to be.”
“Don’t,” I begged. “You are my dearest and wisest friend, and I am grateful beyond measure that you are alive and well by my side once again, but you know me, Morgana. I can’t think about something as trivial as my heart while my people are suppressed under Edgar’s thumb. Berovia is moving in on us. Matters of love come last to the duties of the crown. I must answer the call of my title. I am queen of Magaelor, and I am going to be reclaim my throne.” I paused, thumbing my palm, feeling the usual wave of anxiety run through me. “I wanted to ask if you had more of those capsules, to help with my anxious feelings. They’ve been getting worse.”
“I’d be worried if they weren’t, but, Winter, you need to talk about them. The herbs will help, but not in the long term.”
“Please,” I begged. I needed short-term relief. “Will you?”
