Page 226 of The Locker Room

---

The Locker Room 195

“Yes,” Xander said quietly, because he had. He"d worried about

her, all career and no love. He and Chris had each other. Who did Penny

have?

“I don"t date a lot because if I couldn"t have what you and Chris

have, I don"t want it.”

“Basketball, Penny,” he said, because she might understand. “He

loves this sport.”

“He hated playing it without you,” she told him. “He did it, but he

hated it. You being there for him—he"ll count his lucky stars he"s alive.

As long as he has you, Xander, losing the game won"t be any loss at all.”

Xander sucked in a sob. “God, Penny. Just… just… Christ. Go

away a sec, "kay? I"ll be there. I swear.”

“I"ll come get you,” Penny said, her voice as hard as she could

make it. “I swear, Xander, you don"t get to do this alone in a toilet,

okay? You never have to be alone.”

Xander nodded, and then spoke because she couldn"t see. “I have

this image in my head,” he said softly. “He"s magic, and golden, and

shooting the ball. He"s young and he… you remember. He looks like

he"d snap in two if someone grabbed him hard, but… he got plowed over

on the court in high school. He had bruises all over his arms and his ribs

in our senior year, because his skin"s so pale, and they started playing

rough. And he just kept going back out on the court because I wasn"t

going to keep him off, and no one else was going to try.

“And that"s how I remember him. I know there"s this young,

golden, magic shadow in his heart, and it"s going to be playing

forever—” And now Xander"s voice broke, truly broke, but he had to

keep talking. “But he"s never going to be able to move like that again.

It"s only going to be his heart, and… God, Penny. What if I"m not

enough to make his heart okay?”

---