Page 44 of Fade into You
But the note turns into a scream as she trips forward. We both laugh and she rights herself faster than the last time. But our laughing is cut short when we pass them again, only now Dade is kneeling on the floor helping Kayla put her skates on, and she leans her face down to kiss him.
“Come on!” Jessa shouts. “How?” She tosses her arm in their direction and loses her balance again. This time, she almost pulls me down with her.
“I don’t know, Jessa. I really don’t understand them, but look… here…” I turn backward so that we’re face-to-face. “Here,” I tell her, holding my hands out. “Just let me help you for a minute, all right? You got all tense and rigid again.”
“Yeah, they have that effect on me, I guess.” She runs herhand through her hair and looks to the side and toward the mirror ball and at her feet, but will not look atmefor some reason.
“Here,” I repeat, and hold my hands farther away from me.
She hesitates, like she’s actually scared—I might be easy to tease, but she’s not as tough as she wants everyone to think she is.
“I won’t let you fall. Promise.”
“Okay,” she says, so quietly I can barely hear her over Lenny. Then slowly, she finally reaches out and takes my hands. They’re soft and warm. And I’m suddenly wondering what my hands feel like to her.
“Just ignore Dade-La. Bend your knees a little, like before. Don’t try to go too fast.”
She’s nodding and letting me set the pace. I’m doing my little gentle backward snowplows, just like I did a few years ago when I was teaching Bailey to skate. I look over my shoulder every few seconds to make sure I’m not going to run us into anyone.
When I look back at her, she lowers her eyes. “No, don’t. Don’t look down,” I tell her.
She opens her mouth to say something, but just at that moment Dade swoops in on his Rollerblades, right behind her, and knocks her off-balance. “Looking great, Jessa,” he shouts, laughing as he skates around us in a circle.
She lets go of one of my hands to give him the finger. “Very funny, asshole!”
He laughs harder before he goes back and takes Kayla’s hand. As they pass us, Kayla waves happily, as if there was never anything wrong at all.
The music fades into a Third Eye Blind song Jessa included on the CD she made me.
“Thanks again for that mixtape,” I tell her. “CD, I mean. This song… it was one of my favorites.”
She bites her lip again like she did earlier, like she’s trying to keep herself from smiling. No, not so tough. More like cute.
I can see Dade and Kayla, hands locked, coming up behind us again. I try to give Dade the most seriousdon’t mess with uslook I can summon. So when they pass us, he just throws up a peace sign.
I’m quiet as the ending of “Motorcycle Drive By” merges into unmistakable opening power chords, with Courtney Love belting out,“Oh, make me over…”Literally giving me chills that I think must spread to Jessa, because her face lights up.
“Yeah?” she’s asking me, as somehow we both start skating a little faster, to the beat. “You’re into Hole, really?”
“Don’t look so shocked! Why can’t I like Hole?”
“No, you can,” she shouts. “You should!”
I lean into her, pull her arms closer for a second, and shout close to her ear, “News flash: I’m really not as boring as you seem to think I am.”
As I back up, Jessa’s looking so serious, seriously deep into my eyes. She opens her mouth like she’s about to say something, but suddenly Kayla’s next to us, grabbing onto my shoulder to slow herself down.
“Hey, I need you.” She looks at Jessa and offers a tight “hey” in her direction. Then back to me. “It’s private. Sorry.”
Jessa lets go of my hands. “No worries.”
“Okay, um, you’re all right on your own?”
She just nods and starts singing,“… beautiful garbage… beautiful dresses…”
I take that as a yes.
So I turn around, moving forward again, Kayla gliding sloppily but steadily beside me.
