Page 66 of The New Year's Party
“You think I’m stupid? You think just because Doug lies to me, you can lie to me too? Your fax number is on your business card, youasshole.”
Will pushes his torso upright against the couch as blood seeps into the napkin wad.
“Fax number?”
There’s a muted shriek from somewhere in the distance.
“Uh—was that Olivia?” says Bunny, looking toward the back of the house, but Jenn interrupts her.
“Ignore her, William!” she bites out, her eyes blazing on me. “She’s crazy! We areleavingthis party and reporting this assault to thepolice.” She reaches for Will’s arm to help him up, but Will pushes her aside. His gaze hasn’t left me.
“What about my fax number?”
“You got Doug fired from the best job he’s ever had,” I scream, thrusting the jagged stem of the champagne fluteforward like a sword. “You pulled his criminal record and faxed it to the first job where he was doingwell! He wasgreatat gutter sales, Will, and I have a picture of the fax with your number on it, so don’t sit there and lie to my face!”
“Hellie.” Will’s voice is strained, but calm. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turns to Jenn. Despite the fact that he’s bleeding and hasn’t yet gotten up from the floor, his voice takes on a steely chill I’ve never heard before. “Doyouknow what she’s talking about?”
Jenn’s eyes go wide. She stands and backs a step away, her eyes glancing around the room. “You’re all completelyinsane. What fax? What job? Do people evenfaxthings anymore?” She laughs a fake little laugh. “This is ridiculous. What iswrongwith you people? Will and I didn’t come here to be—to bemaligned, to beattackedby—by—”
“By who? Someone you can’t imagine as a parent?” Now it’s my turn to laugh. “Someone who didn’t deserve to be a mother likeyou? I heard you, by the way. Talking to Olivia.”
“Calm down, Helen,” says Jenn fiercely. “All I meant was that kids thrive in stable environments. Just calm—”
Wrongthing to say. I fling aside the jagged champagne flute and leap toward Jenn, filling my fists with her hair as we collide. She collapses backward with a cry, her head knocking into the side table. A lamp crashes to the floor. I’m on top of her, straddling her hips, yanking her hair back and forth as she screeches. Other people are shouting too, but I’m beyond caring. Jenn’s hands close hard around my wrists, and part of me registers that her nails are digging deep into my skin, but nothing hurts anymore as I yank her head from side to side. I am no longer breakable Hellie, I am a mama bear, this bitch wanted my precious babies dead, and I will kill her before she speaks anotherword—
“Hellie! Get off her!” Doug’s voice. Doug’s arms, wrappingaround my torso, warm and solid, forcing my hands out of Jenn’s hair, pulling me back even as I strain toward Jenn. All of a sudden, feeling his embrace, it’s like my bones dissolve. I’m weeping gently, limp in Doug’s arms as he lifts me and says, “What the fuck is going on in here? We leave you guys alone for five minutes and—”
“The fax that got you fired,” I sob.
“What?” says Doug, like he’s surprised I even know about it.
“I didn’t send it.” It’s Will’s voice, but I keep my face buried in Doug’s chest. Will continues. “Well, Jenn? You’ve been in my office twice in the past two days. I know this is your work. Are you going to deny this too?”
“Wait, it was one ofyouguys who sent it?” says Doug in an outraged voice. “What the actual—”
“I didn’t do anything,” snarls Jenn. “I’ve hit my limit, William. You have a choice to make. It’s me and the girls, or your friends. And if you choose these people over us, news flash, you arenevergetting custody.”
I peek out from the safety of Doug’s shirt. Will is standing now, towering above his wife, his shoulders squared. The moment is electric.
“Wrong,” says Will in a low intense voice. “You’ve done a lot of things, Jennifer. Do you really think they’ll grant custody to the woman who burned down Phelps’s restaurant?”
There are multiple gasps in the room—Allie, Bunny. Aweird cackle—Ted.
“Jesus,” says Phelps. I hadn’t noticed him come in. “Is this for real?”
Jenn is fierce. She plants her fists on her waist and addresses Will, and Will alone. “No. I. Didn’t.”
Will laughs darkly. “Okay, fine. Keep gaslighting me. But it doesn’t matter. This time, I have proof.”
“That’s impossible,” says Jenn. Will advances another stepand Jenn backs away. He’s right in front of her, looking down. He’s taller than I realized. And scarier. He lowers the bloody napkins from his head.
“I can’t prove that you hit me, Jennifer. I can’t prove you got Doug fired. I can’t prove you betrayed Bunny’s confidence. But I can prove this.”
Hit him? What? Did anyone know that Will and Jenn’s marriage was in so much trouble?
Everything feels surreal. The way Doug is supporting my body, like he never has before. Will’s injury, which I can’t possibly have caused. Jenn’s wild hair, and my tingling palms from where I grabbed it so tight. The fault lines I never knew were there trembling under our feet.
And even though Will is full of smoldering intensity, I can see what’s underneath it as clear as day, because it’s the same thing I’ve seen in my own eyes in the mirror for years: fear. The reflection of the person I’ve become with Doug. Someone who’s always bracing, trying to be strong for the next blow. Someone who needs to be ready at every moment to pay rent on her own, bail Doug out of jail, or parse through his complicated stories to decide for herself what might be true and what might be lies... and then probe herself to see if she can find peace with never knowing for sure. Because even though the big lies explode eventually, they’re always surrounded by the buzz of a hundred thousand tiny lies, inconsequential lies, elaborate, fantastical,unnecessarylies.
