Page 104 of RomeAntically Challenged
“And the second I’m gone, all I’ll think about is coming home to Paisley. It happens every time.” Emmitt shook his head. “When I’m working, I know where I stand and what my job entails. Then I come home and it’s like I’m the idiot onThe Bachelorettewho thinks he’s the one, then finds out he’s only around because he got the pity rose.”
“You watchThe Bachelorette?The BachelorI get, ton of babes, butThe Bachelorette?”
Emmitt ignored this. “What I’m saying is, with Michelle gone, everything is uncertain and overwhelming. And if I’m feeling this way, I can’t even imagine what it’s been like for Paisley. I know that this man-off between us isn’t helping, and I know she needs her family’s support. All of her family.”
“Wow.”
“Seriously?” Emmitt stood. “I say all that and you come at me withwow?”
Gray raised a hand. “You dropped a lot right there, andwowwas my first reaction. I needed to absorb it for a minute so that I could give you a response as honest and real as what you gave me. So take a seat.”
Emmitt did—but in the chair this time.
“I agree with everything you said.” Gray sat and rolled his chair closer. “And I’ll admit I’ve been an ass lately.”
“Lately,” Emmitt deadpanned.
“Okay, ever since you stuck your hand out and said, ‘Hi, I’m Paisley’s dad, who the fuck are you?’”
Emmitt chuckled. “I did say that, didn’t I? Guess it wasn’t the best way to greet the man who’d raised my daughter. And before you whine that you’re her dad too, I know. You’re not some stand-in or temporary fix. You’re her dad, and she loves you like a dad.”
Gray nodded three or four times, not as if agreeing but as if the motion helped him pull himself together. “Thank you. It’s hard, and I’m scared as shit that one day you’ll decide I’m not relevant and take her away.”
“I’d never take her away from someone who makes her so happy, and if we’re sharing shit like we’re onDr. Philor something, I’m scared to death that she comes to stay with me only because she feels obligated, not because she wants to. That when I come home, instead of making things better, I disrupt everyone’s plans and I’m scared that at some point she’ll come to resent me.” He held up a hand. “And I see you itching to drop some serious medical knowledge on me, but before you go all doctor on my ass, I’m talking to my co-parent right now.”
“Understood. Reeling it back in,” Gray said. “First, as a co-parent, thanks for initiating this conversation. I’d like to think I’m man enough that eventually I would have broached it with you, but I’m not sure. Which takes me immediately into the second thing, because I don’t want to give you a chance to ask me to repeat that you’re the bigger man. Is this why you want to get back to work? Because you feel that there isn’t room for you here?”
“I wouldn’t have worded it like that, but yeah. The first time I walked in to meet my kid, I thought I’d find this little girl whom I was going to raise and love and who would need me to teach her how to ride a bike or throw a punch. Instead, I walked into a ready-made family, with Levi in the role of surrogate dad and you firmly entrenched as stepdad. With three already established parents, Paisley wanted for nothing. There wasn’t anything she needed that she couldn’t get from you guys.”
“No matter how hard we tried, we could never give Paisley the kind of love she gets from you. We all love her, but the love from each of us feels different to her, and she needs all of it to feel complete.”
“If you really mean that, then after I lay this story to rest, I want to talk about the possibility of her spending more time at my house,” Emmitt said. “That’s why I want to get this story done. I admit, when I first got here, I just wanted to get back to China, because I hate leaving things open ended, especially with the promises I made to the families I met there. But after a while, I started to see what I was missing out on and began to fall into a rhythm with you guys and with Paisley—”
“And Annie?”
“Annie and I had a rhythm the second we met,” he said, shocking not only Gray but himself. “And I don’t want to lose the ground I’ve gained with anyone here. You were right—it’s not your job to keep me in the know. I need to be in touch more. I don’t ever want to come home and feel like I’m clueless about my kid and her life, or feel like I’ve been left out of the important stuff. I missed her first step, first word, hell, nearly all her firsts. I’m going to work hard not to miss any more.”
“We never meant to leave you out,” Gray said, and Emmitt let the reference to “we” slide off his back. “And if you’re willing to keep in touch with me, then I’ll do my best to keep you in the loop on what happens when you’re on assignment.”
“I’d love to be able to work locally like you and Levi, but that’s not an option. So I’ve been thinking of a compromise. As soon as I finish this story, which Icando from here, I’m going to cut back on some of the travel and start taking assignments that are a little closer to home.”
“Are you serious?”
“Talking to Paisley made me realize that the only way we’re going to get through the next few years is to tackle it together.
“Hey—” Emmitt stuck out his hand. “I’m Paisley’s dad, and I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for her. I look forward to sharing this amazing kid with a guy like you.”
Gray shook his hand, then pulled him in for a side hug. “No one I’d rather do it with.”
“We better call Levi and tell him we love him too,” Emmitt joked. “We don’t need him whining like a little girl tonight during the ball game.”
* * *
Emmitt headed toward the lobby with an extra skip in his step and an official letter from Gray’s office in his back pocket. He wouldn’t be diving out of planes or spending time on the front line anytime soon, but the more he thought about it, the more he warmed up to the idea of slowing things down a bit.
Make no mistake, Emmitt was itching to get back to work, but that didn’t mean walking away from what he’d found in Rome. Something special was happening here, and he’d be damned if he didn’t see where it led.
Gray offered to e-mail his company directly, but Emmitt told him to hold off for a couple hours. Carmen deserved to hear the news from Emmitt. And not some “Doctor is sending clearance. Please overnight my things” text. She deserved an apology. So he found a quiet cove off the lobby and dialed her direct line.
