Page 39 of Cross My Heart
"But don't you see, Lanie? That's exactly what I'm trying to do."
It went on like that for an hour, and we still didn't come to a conclusion we agreed upon. She looked exhausted. After a while, I told her I would figure out what to do with Anna and sent her to bed to rest.
Whatever it was, Lanie seems to have swept it under the rug today. When I came down this morning, she was dancing around with a giggling Tate while making breakfast.She is so fucking adorable.
I interrupt only briefly to tell her I have a little work to do, and I’ll be in my office. She nods in understanding without making eye contact.Hmm, maybe it’s not all back to normal, but we’ll get there as soon as I come up with a plan.
* * *
Two weeks later,I was up half the night making lists. On paper…like a pussy teenage girl, but whatever. Trevor is always making God-damn lists. He swears by it. The first list I made was for Anna and how I am going to handle this situation, that didn't take long to complete. I know I can trust Loki and Ryan on this.
The list for Lanie was a lot more work-intensive. I’ve made a list of everything I know is essential to her: the McDowell’s, Julia, Vermont—for whatever reason, North Carolina, family, kids, loyalty, honesty. The things she doesn’t seem impressed by—money. It took three hours and a plethora of safety features for her to agree to drive the damn SUV I bought explicitly for carting around my kids. She is also apparently not a fan of fancy, always preferring her t-shirt and jeans. I have to admit, I love that about her.
I realize there is so much I have to learn about her. I know, without a doubt, the answer to all my twelve-year-old self’s questions is yes. The past two weeks we have spent every night talking after the kids go to bed. More than once, she has fallen asleep, and I’ll carry her to bed.Not that it’s a hardship, having her so close to me feels right.
So, what the hell am I going to do? How am I going to get her to agree to at least try a relationship with me?
I stare at my list while listening to Lanie laugh and play with my kids.I want her here.Hell, I probably even need her here, so how do I figure out my next moves?
Then it hits me.
All my answers are in Vermont. I rush from my desk so quickly, I almost forget to put my Lanie list away. I quickly tuck it into my back pocket, along with the letter I wrote to Trevor. Not that I think she would ever snoop, but the last thing I need is one of the guys to fucking find it. They would never let me live it down.
I run up the stairs to my room and call Trevor.
“So, you’re finally headed to Vermont or what?” He asks, answering his phone.
I’m struck dumb. “What? How? Seriously, Trev, are you watching the video feeds at my house?”
He laughs. “No, you dumb ass. It would be the only logical answer if you decided you want Lanie in your life long-term. You have to go to her source and make some allies. She isn’t going to give in easily, not with her background. I take it that is why you’re calling, right?”
I sigh, “Yeah, I can’t tell her though, she will freak out. I’ll tell her when the time is right.”
“Okay, so what do you need?” Trevor asks, getting right to the point.
“Addresses, the McDowell’s, Julia McDowell, anything I need to know about the town, I’m going to try and get a flight out tonight, so I need it soon,” I tell him.
Trevor laughs at me but comes through like I knew he would. “Consider it done, you’ll have a file in Dropbox by 5.”
I thank him, book a flight and then head down to talk to Lanie and Tate.
* * *
Ten hours later,I am crammed into the smallest plane I have ever been on. They say it’s because the airport in Burlington, VT, is small. I’m coming to realize I have no idea what I am in for. Molly rented me a car because, apparently, her little town is an hour and forty-five minutes north-east of Burlington.Jesus, it has to be up near Canada.
She also got me the best hotel she could find but warned me not to get my hopes up, it would not be up to my standards. Then she laughed, which made me seriously reconsider my plan. If Trevor hadn’t been on board with it, I might have turned around.I can handle a small motel for two nights, right?I give myself a pep talk the entire flight.
When we land, I realize it actually is a small airport, smaller than even some of the tiniest Caribbean islands I’ve been to. I wander around, searching for the rental car place. It takes me fifteen minutes to even find another person.
“Excuse me. Do you work here?” I ask. “I’m looking for the rental car window and can’t seem to find it.”
The older man laughs. “You have to go outside, take two rights, then enter next to the deer head. You better hurry, though. They are closing soon.”
Is he serious? I glance at my watch, it's 7 pm. I realize he is, in fact, telling the truth.
“Thank you,” I tell him, taking off at a jog in the direction he sent me.
Almost an hour later, I’m on my way. They talk about the south being slow, holy hell.
