Page 104 of Love Notes & Lifelines
“Just to clarify,” I say, and he rolls his eyes. “You want to try for a real relationship with a fake engagement—with me.”
“Yes, to a real relationship, for now on the fake engagement.” Blood rushes through my head like a dam breaking, making it hard to hear, but his lips keep moving and I strain to pay attention. “I want to crush anyone and everyone who even attempts to come between us, sweetheart, so yeah, I’m talkingabout a real relationship. With you,” he tacks on at the last minute.
“How? What does that look like to you?”
I swear he growls, but he takes a step back and runs a hand roughly through his hair before spinning on me and binding me in place with his stare.
“What does it look like?” He inhales deeply but never breaks eye contact. “It looks like you in my bed and in my heart. It looks like mistakes and do-overs. It looks like apologies and most of all it looks like love the way it’s supposed to be. Honest. Equal. Safe. We both know we have mountains to move before we get there. So it looks like ruining Silas. It looks like crushing Danica and watching Caleb get what he deserves. It looks like giving the girls the stability and love my sister would have given them. It looks like us, Stella. I don’t know how else to tell you, so let me prove it. Let me show you with actions because words are meaningless to you, and I understand that now. I know why, so let me try.”
He flops down onto the bench next to me. His shoulders rise on an inhale as though he’s already fought one battle, but now he’s ready to take on the war.
That war is me. The thought smacks against my skull and ribs. It thrashes and sparks. And it gives me the courage I was sure I’d lost.
“Yes,” I say. Then square my shoulders and face him head-on. “I want to try—all of that.”
“Thank fuck. Now will you lie down and try to relax? People pay thousands of dollars for this experience, and I’ve never been more stressed out in my goddamn life. Allow me to give you this—I need it, Stella. It’s been a long day.”
I lean forward and kiss him on the lips. It’s not sexual. It’s a promise. It’s hope. And it might just be love.
His hands cup my face and it’s unlike any other touch. He isn’t trying to control me, he’s not trying to bend me to his will,he simply cradles me like I’m a rare diamond, and the tension between us snaps.
“I need you as much as I want you, you know that, right?” Beck asks as he rises to his knees.
I nod, too entranced to do anything else.
He runs a single finger from the divot in my neck down to the valley between my breasts and the sheet pools at my waist.
The moment turns frantic. One second, we’re face-to-face, and the next he’s on top of me, letting me see everything he holds dear in his gaze.
The sheet falls away with one rough tug, then he’s kissing down my body, stopping every few inches to make sure I’m still okay. But this isn’t an exploration—this is a deep dive straight to the treasure. I nod once more and his tongue parts my sex, then his mouth closes over my clit. I instantly throb for him.
He’s gentle but thorough, guided by desperation that hits me in my soul. No one has ever learned my body in this way, and a shudder rolls through me.
“Beck,” I whimper as he slides two fingers into my pussy.
“I will never tire of hearing my name fall from your lips. You’re addicting in the best way.” He finger-fucks me with intent and his stiff tongue flicks my clit with the same ferocity.
I’m going to come, and time has barely moved.
I cry out, a loud, guttural sound that echoes off the walls, and Beck responds to it with a growl against my sensitive skin. My orgasm climbs higher.
When my eyes finally open, he’s hovering over me, his cock notched at my entrance, waiting for permission to make us one.
“Please,” I moan when he shifts his weight so his hardened length rubs over my sensitive nerves. He does it three more times before returning to where I need him most.
“Do you want me?” he asks, but I hear the subtext. Do I want him to fuck me? Do I want him to love me? Do I want him to fight for me? And there can only be one answer.
“Yes. Yes,” I cry, and shock myself when I lift my hips, engulfing the tip of his dick with my body.
“When I’m inside you, I feel whole for the first time in my life,” he says through gritted teeth. “I didn’t want to acknowledge it, but it’s true. And I’ll fight every demon that comes our way to keep this feeling.”
I open my mouth, but words are lost to me when he thrusts hard and deep. All I can do is moan and take everything he gives as he works my body like an extension of his own.
Hard and fast. Slow and deep. He keeps me guessing and unable to catch my breath as he fucks me straight into another orgasm that causes lights to flash, leaving me with gasping breaths and mind numbing-bliss.
I feel him moving over and in me. I hear his voice but not the words. I taste the saltiness of his skin. And I know when he comes by the punishing stab of his penis hitting the deepest part of me before everything stills.
Time holds no meaning as he drops his full weight onto me. The heat of the room is forgotten as the fire of us together burns everything to the ground.
