Page 40 of Won't Let Go
“Which part?”
“The part where Josh tells me he’s in love with me, wants to marry me, and maybe put a baby in me. What the actual fuck?”
“He just came out and said all that?”
“Yes!”
She chuckles. “I thought he’d be smoother than that.”
“So, you knew?”
“Of course, I did. I’m his mother and your best friend. I’ve known how he feels for years.”
“How many years?”
“Oh. I don’t know. Six. Maybe, seven? Somewhere around that.”
“Loretta! He was a teenager, then.”
“I’ve already said too much.”
Flopping back on the bed, still naked from the waist down, I turn over and bang my forehead against the pillows. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Why not? You’re a beautiful person inside and out. Josh clocked it years ago. You can’t blame him for seeing it. He’s the only guy you’ve let get close enough to know you.”
She’s right, he is.
Because he’s safe.
He’s always been safe.
But this is too much, too fast. For months, I planned my death. I was prepared. I was ready. It hasn’t even been a month, and so much has changed. I’m still alive and…
I touch between my legs.
It’s still sensitive there. From him. From what we did.
I came.
He came.
Then I hurt his feelings…
Not knowing what else to say, we hang up. I need to think. I need to process. I need space.
After Hunter’s father, I never wanted to put myself through that again. It just isn’t worth it.
But Josh…
He’s not like anyone else.
Post-orgasm clarity’s a bitch, isn’t it?
13
WHITE BOY
Fuck!
