Page 82 of Electric Blue Love
Of course, he had to get it down on paper.
I hung up the phone and sunk into the cushion, letting my head fall back so that I stared up at the white ceiling.
Fuck it.
I grabbed my wallet and keys and shot out of the apartment. It was only when the cab pulled up in front of the Winters’ house did I think about the state of my appearance. At least for once the outside matched the inside. I feltandlooked like shit.
I knocked on the door and then stepped back and shoved my hands in my pocket. I’d been prepared for someone else to open the door, to need to explain what I was doing there, but instead the door flung open and I was met with a tunnel of electric blue. My stomach dropped and took flight at the same time making me lightheaded and nauseous.
Bianca stepped back when her eyes met mine.
“Hi.” I stayed firmly in place willing her not to slam the door in my face. She didn’t, but maybe worse, she just stood there waiting for some sort of explanation on why I was standing outside her door. She looked stunned and completely off guard.
“I’m sorry to just drop by like this. Can we talk?”
“Dinner’s ready everyone,” Mrs. Winters called from inside the house.
“Hungry?” she asked softly – a total contradiction to the outburst I was expecting.
Hell no I wasn’t hungry, but I’d eat fried SPAM if it meant she’d talk to me.
I nodded, and Bianca opened the door wide. We entered the dining room just as everyone was sitting down to eat, and all eyes were on me.
I offered a small wave as I greeted them. “Hey everyone. Sorry to drop by so unexpected.”
“Court, how lovely to see you,” Mrs. Winters said. “Are you joining us for dinner? Bianca put out another place setting.”
“We’re gonna eat on the patio, Mom.”
Bianca grabbed a plate from the table and handed it to me. She motioned with her head to the kitchen and I followed her. She pointed to the counter where several casserole dishes were laid out. I moved toward them in a daze.
My stomach growled despite my disinterest in eating when the lasagna hit my nose. I took a serving and moved to the next dish and then the next. Bianca followed behind me and after our plates were filled, she led me back through the dining room. I exchanged an awkward wave with Mr. Winters who gave me an understanding look. Donnie and Leo were glued to the baseball game on the TV in the living room, which had been turned so they could see it from the dining room table. All of it was so all-American and homey and I felt like an ass for coming in and making it weird.
Bianca strolled out onto the patio and stopped in front of a metal dining table. She put her plate down and then looked to me. “Want something to drink?”
“That’d be great,” I said and tried a smile, feeling it fall short. Nothing about this, except being near Bianca, was great.
She disappeared back into the house and I let out a groan and settled into one of the metal chairs across from where Bianca had placed her plate. I remembered she’d called this space her favorite place in the world and I looked around, seeing her in all of it. Twinkling lights, a fountain, the garden she’d mentioned. There were mismatched lounge chairs and wicker furniture with bright colored cushions. Just like the inside of the house, it had a warmth and comfort to it that couldn’t have been bought with showroom furniture.
The sound of the sliding door pulled my eyes to Bianca walking toward me with two glasses of what looked like tea.
She put them down in front of us without speaking.
“This is a great space out here. I can see why you love it so much.”
She looked around as if she were seeing it for the first time. “It’s my favorite place in the whole world. Not that I’ve been very many places,” she added. Her eyes bore back into mine. “What are you doing here? I never thought I’d see you again.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I was wrong, and I overreacted and made you feel bad about standing by the people you love. I think what you did, who you are, is beautiful. I don’t expect your forgiveness or anything like that, I just had to tell you that I was sorry and that you absolutely should make sure your mom gets the very best care possible. I should have seen that sooner and I should have stood by you to help make sure that happened.”
“You think I’m upset because you didn’t stand beside me while I let your prick of a father near my family?”
“Y-yes,” I said slowly.
She shook her head. “You used my family, my mother, as part of your plan against your father. You forced him into our lives after he ruined yours. How could you do that?”
“I –”
But she didn’t let me speak.
