Page 64 of The Blessings of Christmas
“Look, I’m sorry about this morning. Thought about it all day.”
“Oh, Connor, we argue too much.”
His arms cinched around her. Nudging her face up with warm lips, Connor gave her a soft kiss. Amanda’s shoulders relaxed and the rest of her body followed. This was the guy she’d fallen in love with when she was only a freshman at Benedictine College. Love at first dribble. A junior star forward, he’d charged smack into her when he went up for a layup, was knocked out of bounds and sent Amanda and her popcorn flying.
Hands around his neck, she tilted her head back and smiled. “Either you miss me or you really like the taste of your mother’s corned beef.”
Connor’s deep chuckle tickled her chest. He rested his forehead against hers. “I’d show you just how much I missed you, but I’m wiped out. Sorry, babe.”
Taking her hand, he led her to the sofa and relaxed into the worn corduroy, stretching his long legs onto the old chest they used as a coffee table. Big Mike had gotten it as a result of his bundling efforts years earlier.
“That’s okay. I'm pretty tired myself.” She collapsed next to him, wanting these moments to last forever. But lately, they never did.
Connor stretched her legs over his lap. “Do you think I got the lights right this year?”
She knew a diversion tactic when she heard it. Fine with her. Their wrangling exhausted her. She studied the tree. A gazillion lights blinked against the deep green boughs. “Maybe not enough lights.”
His head swiveled. “Seriously?”
A giggle bubbled from some forgotten place. “No. You just about measured the distance between each light to get it perfect. Fine with me. I always love our tree.”
Lifting one strand of her blondish brown hair, he ran it between his fingers. A habit that never got old. “Just think of next year and how different things will be, Amanda.”
She swallowed. The vision unfolding inside held all the thrill of a roller coaster ride. Scary and exciting at the same time. How could he be so sure?
“Why are you so quiet tonight, huh? Was it our fight?” He stopped fiddling with her hair.
She pulled away. “We argue too much.”
“I know. It takes two, you know.”
Was that a slam or what? Amanda turned her eyes to the tree where the lights quickly blurred. Connor always liked everything on the table, kind of like his sister McKenna. Sometimes Amanda wished they’d both go easier with that.
“Nothing’s for sure, Connor,” she finally said. “Until it all happens, we don’t know where we’ll be next year. Angie could change her mind. The procedures could fail…again.”
“We’ve done everything possible. Covered all the bases.”
There it was again. Having a baby was work.
“You say that, but nothing’s certain, Connor.”
A muscle worked in his cheek. “This hasn’t been easy.”
“You think I don’t know that?” The words came out too fast, too sharp.
And they were right back where they’d started.
A frown ridged over his eyes and Amanda nipped her bottom lip between her teeth. For two seconds they looked at each other. She had to choose her words carefully.
“You’re right. We’ve had a heck of a time, Connor. I get that. I know this is the season of hope and all that good stuff. It’s just that…” She swallowed hard. Connor hated it when she cried.Lord knows there’d been enough of that. “How many years did we trynotto get pregnant? We never saw this coming.”
“No couple does.” His hands tightened into a knot between his knees.
“Don’t those early years seem so long ago, Connor?”
“They do. Five long years.”
Her heart pinched. “Wow, you say that like it’s a prison sentence or something.”
