Page 106 of From Ice to Grace
“That was me. I’m not denying it.” He shakes his head, running his hand through his still damp hair. “I’m saying that I shouldn’t have done that. I made a mistake.”
There was a time I thought hearing those words would fix something inside of me, but it doesn’t. Axel can’t fix the wounds in me even though he caused them in the first place. No amount of words or apologies can fix it.
“Axel, I loved you.” The words feel honest and true. I no longer love him. That part is gone. “I really did. I wanted to be your wife. I was ready to step into that life with you?—”
“Why did you leave then?” he interrupts, stepping closer again. “We could’ve figured it out.”
“No, we couldn’t,” I say, shaking my head. “You have to figure out why you did what you did, what drove you to it…and I have some healing to do. I don’t want to drag the ruins of this relationship with me for the rest of my life.”
Hurt flickers across his face and it hits my heart. I hate that it does, but I will always care about him. We grew up together, we spent countless days together, we dreamt up a future together…and now it’s gone.
“So, you’re saying one mistake is going to cost us our future?” he asks, and my head whips to him, searching his gaze.
“Was it just one, Axel?” I ask, finally asking the question I’ve had sitting with me for a year.
His lips part to answer and then he doesn’t. “None of it meant anything.”
I feel the old ache in my chest tighten, reminding me of the trust that was broken in a single moment. My throat burns, but I force out the next words.
“It meant something to me,” I whisper, hearing the truth of what was going on behind my back, cutting deeper than I’d like to admit. “So if there’s any part of you that’s here for me? Then you should go. Because I’m done with what was once between us.”
He starts shaking his head. Footsteps sound behind me and I already know who it is, when I feel him drawing near.
“Snow,” Declan’s voice comes from behind me and relief flows through me.
He slips his hand along my waist, pulling me into his side before pressing a kiss into my hair.
“Let’s go home,” he says, and I swear I feel it in my toes…warmth, safety and homecoming all at once.
Axel clears his throat.
“Something on your mind, Boqvist?” Declan asks, tossing a cold glare at the guy who’s gunning for his position. His voice is calm, but his words cut like steel.
Axel swallows, his gaze flicking between the two of us.
“Just wondering how you sleep at night knowing that as soon as EJ finds a new friend and teammate, she’ll attach herself to that guy next.”
Declan tenses next to me, his grip tightening on my waist. He gives Axel the smile that makes his dimple pop.
“I sleep just fine, Boqvist. Especially knowing she’s right next to me.”
Before Axel can say anything, Declan looks at me. “Let’s go, I still have to talk to the press, and then we’ll go home.”
I nod, turning away from Axel and leaving him in the hallway. I hope he listened and that if he’s here for me, he should rather go back to Sweden.
If not…then we’ll deal with that too.
Together…with God by our side.
The house feels too quiet after the game.
The faint hum of the city filters through the windows, but other than that we step into a muted living room. I drop my purse on the counter and kick off my heels, the adrenaline of the evening still pulsing through my veins.
Declan closes the front door behind him, the soft click echoing through the space. He sets his duffle down and stands there for a second, running a hand over the back of his neck. He’s been quiet the entire way home and it’s strange. Tonight should feel like a victory, for both of us. He played his first game, he didn’t let Axel get to him, the team won, I spoke to Axel and survived…
And yet everything around us feels…fragile.
“You handled the media well,” I say finally, trying to fill the silence. My voice sounds too bright. “They tried to make it hard for you, but you stayed calm.”
