Page 18 of From Ice to Grace
I wipe a tear that’s rolling down my cheek.
EJ reaches out and squeezes my hand.
“You can’t let him dictate your future, lillasyster.”
“You sound just like mom.” I sigh. “He was supposed to be my future, EJ.”
“Yes but he messed up the chance he had,” he says, his voice firm. “He shouldn’t get the privilege."
My gaze is pinned on the different cars in front of us, making their way through traffic with us. I can’t help but wonder if any of the people in those cars are struggling with a past they wish would disappear, if any of them have issues they don’t know how to fix.
I’ve prayed.
I have.
But still, it’s like I don’t have the answer. Or I have it, but I don’t want to see it.
I don’t know which is worse.
“Just…try,” he says as we turn onto the gravel driveway of Lucas and Hannah’s home in Westchester. “Don’t you have someone at work that you could go out with? Maybe go on a date or something?”
He switches off the ignition and I can’t help but laugh. My brother has never, in our entire lives, encouraged me to go on a date with anyone. In fact, quite the opposite is true. He was alright with me dating Axel, because he knew Axel first. And most of the time, the three of us spent time together.
“A date? Are you being serious?” I ask with a huff. “You must either be really worried, or a puck hit you in the head during your last game.”
He shrugs. “Couldn’t hurt, right?”
“This coming from the guy who hasn’t had a date in what…?” I ask, grabbing my bag off the floor of the car and setting it on my lap, ready to head inside and end this crazy conversation.
“That’s not the point,” he says quickly. “And, I go on dates.”
“Oh yeah?” I ask, opening the door and stepping out into the cool night air, leaning on the roof of his car with a sceptical look on my face. “When was that? And Katya in high school doesn’t count.”
He closes the door and walks around the hood, ignoring my gaze.
“I went on a date with Liz last week,” he says like it’s no big deal. He’s hit it off with one of Hannah’s friends for a while now, and I’ve been waiting for the two of them to act on what we could all see is between them.
“And?”
“And nothing,” he says with a shrug. “But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you moving on with your life. Just please, no dating apps.”
The look on his face matches my own distaste.
“Never.”
We reach the front door and he knocks.
“And no more teammates,” he adds. “Maybe it’s best if you keep away from hockey players all together. Pick someone who’ll be home every night, a teacher or a lawyer or something.”
I don’t know why his words stir offense inside of me. I’ve never considered my type to be ‘hockey player’, but now that he’s telling me to stay away from hockey players it leaves me to consider the alternative. And I’m not sure how I feel about it.
“You’re a hockey player,” I state, wondering what the issue is.
“Exactly. And I spend a lot of time with hockey players.”
“Are you saying your teammates are all bad guys?” I ask, only half joking knowing most of them are great guys. Maybe with the exception of Declan Murphy.
“They’re great. But none of them are good enough for you,” he plants a kiss on top of my head before ringing the doorbell.
