Page 76 of From Ice to Grace
“I know you make a big deal out of us only having eighteen months between us, but I am your older brother. And mom always reminded me of that.” He leans back, his eyes filling with softened amusement. “I remember one day we were driving in the car, going to get ice-cream. I think I was about seven, and you were five. You were tired and started to lean against me in the backseat. I placed my arm around you and you tucked yourself into my side.”
I remember something like that. But maybe not that specific time. I know EJ always gave me hugs and he’s always been there to comfort me when I skinned a knee or when words hurt more than they should’ve.
“Mom looked in the review mirror and asked me if I loved my little sister.”
“What did you say?” I ask, unable to keep a smile from tugging on my lips.
“Of course I said yes,” he says, reaching over and ruffling my hair before pulling me into his side again. “And then she asked me if I’ll always look out for you, if I’ll always protect you.”
I look up into his eyes, the concern clearly written there.
“You’re my little sister,” he says in a way that makes my heart ache. “I should’ve known what Axel was doing, I should’ve known he wasn’t right for you. You’re right, I didn’t protect you then, but I’m going to try my best now.”
Before I can protest, he lifts his hand to stop me. “I will be by your side no matter what you decide.”
Relief moves through me, tangled up with gratitude. I lean into him again and he pulls me in for a tight hug. I allow myself to crumble in his embrace…just a little. Because the truth is, I am scared. I am afraid that I’m making the wrong choice, that I’m making this choice based on my own understanding and not because of God’s will.
“That’s all I need,” I say against his chest. “My big brother by my side. And of course your prayers.”
He places a kiss in my hair. “Is that all?” he asks, a slight teasing lilt in his voice.
“Maybe just one more little thing…” I pull away, giving him my best puppy dog face.
“This is going to be bad,” he says with a groan. Letting me go he leans forward and grabs his coffee from the coffee table. “What is it? Do you need help with adopting five kids to your insta-family while you’re at it?”
“Don’t be dramatic,” I scoff. “I just need you to help me tell mom and dad about this.” I can’t help but wince as the words leave my mouth, knowing it’s a tall order.
“She’s going to know this is not real,” he deadpans.
“How?”
“Some days I seriously wonder if you’ve ever met mom,” he says, a playful grin on his face. “She knows everything.”
“Not if you’re my witness.”
“You mean if I lie for you?” he asks, letting out a mirthless laugh before getting up from the couch. He walks to the kitchen counter, grabs my phone and tosses it to me.
“Call her,” he says, taking a seat at the counter and opening the bag of pastries. “You get started on that, and I’ll handle this.” He takes a bite of the pastry and groans.
I get up and snatch the bag from him before he can eat another one. “You’re supposed to stick to your diet during the season.”
“You’re mean,” he mumbles through a mouthful.
“You’re the one who doesn’t want to help,” I say, pulling up my mom’s number.
My thumbs hovers over the green button, my stomach twisting. My heart reaches toward Heaven, a silent plea to help me say the right thing. I don’t want to worsen the situation. I need help to be truthful despite the complicated nature of the agreement I’m stepping into.
Taking a deep breath, I press the call button.
“It’s about time, my girl,” my mom answers the phone. “You need to call your mother more.”
“Mom, we talk to each other every week.”
“That’s not enough,” she says simply. “I wiped your face and clothed you. Helped you build your first puzzle and patiently sat by waiting for you to stick your foot into the right shoe…You need to call your mother more. Coming home would be even better.”
I sigh. “I called because I have some good news.”
EJ snorts, choking on his coffee in the process and I fling my half-eaten custard Danish at his head.
