Page 51 of The Assassin and the Libertine
“Oh,chérie! Tell me what happened with Étienne.”
“Mon Dieu,Charlotte, I have no idea!” I shook my head in confusion as tears started to well in my eyes. “One moment, I was arguing with him on the dance floor, the next I was outside trying to get some air, and then I found myself before him again, wonderingwhat if we could be together?But we can’t because he will live forever and I can’t become a vampire, and so we have no future—and then it was as if we were saying goodbye to each other, but then we were kissing, and then Philippe found us and he’s justfurious, Charlotte—I don’t think I’ve ever seen him soangry!” The words rushed out of me as the tears started to fall, dropping onto my shiny, pale skirts.
“Hush now,ma chère amie! You are fine now, are you not? Philippe and his temper are out there, and we are safe in here. And as for you and Étienne—well, what do you really want?”
“I don’t know!” I wailed.
She tutted and hugged me, but her tenderness only made me cry harder. I buried my face in her shoulder and sobbed almost as hard as I had when Michel had died.What was wrong with me?
“You must figure that out first,chérie.Otherwise, how will you know what to ask him for?” she soothed, pulling a flask of brandy from her garter. “Here. Have a drink of something medicinal.”
I sipped at first, enjoying the sweet warmth of the liquid. Then at Charlotte’s insistence, downed the rest of the flask.
“I don’t know what I want. I don’t understand my feelings for him, Charlotte. I want to hate him. He makes me so crazy! And he’s avampire! Just like the ones that killed Michel.”
“But he did not kill Michel,” Charlotte pointed out. “And you know, darling, I don’t think he’s really likeallvampires, any more than one man is likeallmen. Why are you so confused by these feelings? You simply thought he was one thing, and then you got to know him and learned that you were wrong. And now you must figure out if you want him at all, if you love him and will make it work, or if you think it’s best to part ways and move on with your life.”
“It’s not that simple,” I argued.
“L’amourrarely is. But for now, we have work to do, so no more tears,d’accord?”
“Yes, yes, I know.Merde. It’s fine. I’m fine, really.”
“Good,” she said, taking the empty flask. “Now that you are fortified, we shall look for the book. I would love to hear of yourtroubles and your heartache,chérie,but we don’t have much time before the silly men come looking.”
She was right. I stood and forced Étienne from my thoughts, intent on finding a copy of the book. I blew out a breath and took a candle from the desk.
“Thank you,chérie.As always, you are right.” I offered her a wan smile. “You start over by those shelves and I’ll start on this side.”
We perused the bookshelves lining the walls, standing on chairs to reach the uppermost volumes. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to be in any kind of order, which meant we’d have to individually check every book. I groaned. This room wasn’t as large as the formal library at Versailles, but it was big enough to take us all night.
“I should have brought more brandy,” Charlotte muttered. “Do you think I should go and get us some?”
“No! It’ll take us long enough to search together—it’ll take twice as long if we’re drunk.”
A soft knock startled us both. Before I could climb down from the chair, the door opened. We froze.
A pair of antlers poked in, followed by the rest of the man I wanted to see the least.
“Étienne!” I gasped. “What are you doing here? Get out before someone sees you and finds us in here!”
I jumped down from the chair and hurried over to him.
“My, my,” he drawled. “What have we here? Two sneaky little vixens hiding away in Madame de Pompadour’s private library? Whatwillthe king say?”
I started to push him out the door, but it was like trying to move a block of solid stone. He chuckled at my feeble attempts and removed his mask. Charlotte narrowed her eyes at him, but suddenly gasped and pulled him further into the room.
“Charlotte,whatare you doing?” I whispered.
“Daphne, he can help us look!”
I scowled.
“Look for what?” Étienne glanced from me to Charlotte, then back to me again.
“Nothing!” I whispered. “It’s nothing. If you want to help, go keep watch and leave Charlotte and I to work. You haven’t exactly been the best partner in this investigation lately, anyway.”
He peered down at me, his expression unreadable.
