Page 95 of Love like the (Real) Reel Thing
“Bollix!” Suddenly, Robert’s fist shot forward, aiming for Adam’s face.
With split-second timing, Adam pushed Jess out of the way while in the same movement deflecting the punch.
“Adam!” Jess’s heart pounded in the back of her throat. “Just go!”
But as Robert raised his fist again, Adam punched him square in the face.
Robert let out an angry shout as blood spurted from his nose.
As Jess looked on in horror, her mother’s voice rang out loud and clear on speaker. “Jess, are you there?”
Jess swallowed hard, raising her voice above Robert’s, who was clutching his nose and swearing loudly at Adam. “I’m here, Mam.”
Carmel’s voice broke a little. “Sweetheart, your nana just died.”
CHAPTER 46
Jess drove back to Dublin on Saturday and arrived at her parents’ house at midday. She’d left Emily’s party straight after the phone call, refusing Adam’s offer of a lift the following day. Instead, she’d packed an overnight bag, grabbed a few hours’ sleep at Ivy Cottage and left early on Saturday morning. Now she was exhausted.
Her mother’s eyes were red and swollen as she answered the door and pulled her in for a hug. “Oh, Jess!”
“Mam!” The previous night Jess had been too numb to cry. And this morning she’d forced herself to focus on just getting home. But as she hugged her mother tight, waves of sadness and exhaustion rolled through her and she let the tears fall. “What happened? Was it a heart attack?”
“Come down to the kitchen, love.” Carmel briskly rubbed Jess’s back as she pulled away, not quite meeting her eyes.
In the kitchen, her dad was pouring strong tea into big, mismatched mugs. He turned when he heard them and pulled Jess in for another hug.
“I’m so sorry, Dad.” Jess’s voice was muffled against his chest.
Tom patted her awkwardly. “I know, Jessie, we all are. But she wouldn’t have wanted to linger, and none of us wanted her to suffer.”
Jess pulled away. “What do you mean, linger?”
He and Carmel exchanged a glance. “Sit down, Jess.”
She crumpled into a chair and Tom put a mug of tea and a plate of biscuits in front of her and sat down. “Your nana had pancreatic cancer, Jess,” he said gently. “She found out a few weeks ago when she went to the doctor about something else.”
Jess stared at him for a moment and then looked over at her mother, who’d taken a seat beside her. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice wobbled. “That’s why she was in hospital, wasn’t it? You’ve all known for weeks but you didn’t let me say goodbye.” A wave of grief surged through her and she started to cry again. “You should have told me, I would have come up to see her and say goodbye.”
“Shhh, Jess.” Carmel reached out to take her hands, but Jess snatched them away.
“Jessie, please.” Her dad gave her a reproachful look. “We wanted to tell you, but Nana asked us not to. She didn’t want you to see her sick or be upset or worried about her. She went back into hospital for a week and she just slipped away peacefully.”
“I didn’t know!” Jess began to cry harder and she searched uselessly in her pockets for a tissue. Carmel stood to get a box of tissues from the top of the fridge and slid them across the table. Jess grabbed some and started to blot her face. Neither of her parents said anything for the next few minutes. Eventually, she stopped crying and took a deep breath.
“I should have rung her more often.” Fresh tears stung her eyes and she pulled another tissue from the box. “I rang her a couple of times, Mam. I sort of thought she wasn’t herself but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t tell her how special she was or how much she meant to me. And now it’s too late – she’s gone.”
Tom pulled something out from behind the toaster and gave it to Jess – an envelope with her name on it, written in Moira’s distinctive, loopy handwriting.
“Your nana knew how much she meant to you, Jess. She wrote you and Zoe a letter each. It’s how she wanted to say goodbye.”
Jess sat for a long while at the table, listening as her dad outlined Moira’s final wishes. Finally, she went up to the sitting room to read the letter.
Tom, his older brother, Seamus, Jess, Zoe, Carmel and Finn all carried Moira’s coffin up the aisle of the tiny Wicklow church on Monday morning.
As Jess slipped into the front pew beside her parents she was vaguely aware of the low hum of voices in the packed church. She smoothed her hands shakily over the black dress she’d found in the back of her wardrobe. With its short, matching jacket, it was a bit dated, but she didn’t care. Beside her, Zoe slipped her hand into hers, and Jess shot her a grateful look.
She’d been slightly surprised that Finn had come back for the funeral, but Zoe said that he’d been extremely fond of Moira – and grateful to her for letting him stay with her for a while the previous year when he’d found himself homeless.
